AUGUST 2005 NOMINATIONS

Anagrammy Awards >Nomination Archives > 2005


THE GENERAL CATEGORY

1st - Ellie Dent with:
Archaeologists =
Goal is to search.

2nd - dupe with:
Islamic fundamentalism =
Damn fanatic Muslim lies.

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The medical profession =
Help to confirm disease.

aussie battler with:
Boundaries ~
Ruined abo's!

aussie battler with:
Coastline ~
slit ocean.

aussie battler with:
Slobbering =
Longer bibs?

aussie battler with:
How's that?! =
What tosh!

aussie battler with:
Cholesterol =
Hello corset!

aussie battler with:
Camaraderie =
Dear America

aussie battler with:
Triangles =
Real tings.

aussie battler with:
Inwardness ~
ends in wars.

aussie battler with:
Talkathons =
Thanks a lot!

David Bourke with:
Full intercourse =
Fuller countries.

Larry Brash with:
Middle management =
Madman led meeting.

Larry Brash with:
Getting in touch with one's feminine side =
Deceit! He feigns women's intuition thing.

Richard Brodie with:
Being right on the money =
Get there by homing in on

Tony Crafter with:
An erotic novel =
A clever notion.

Tony Crafter with:
All shoes need ~
sole and heels.

Tony Crafter with:
Celsius and Fahrenheit =
Heat is unsafe, children.

Tony Crafter with:
Roll in the hay =
Thrill a honey.

Tony Crafter with:
If I only had wings =
I'd a wish on flying.

Tony Crafter with:
Sanitation engineer =
No great Einsteinian!

Tony Crafter with:
Wagner? Shame ~
he was German!

Ellie Dent with:
The man on the run =
Men hunt another.

Ellie Dent with:
A diet profile =
Fat lie. Period.

Ellie Dent with:
Residential home =
Oldies are in them.

Toby Gottfried with:
Archaeologist =
I go search a lot.

Toby Gottfried with:
An apple a day keeps the doctor away =
Cake won't help. Dread soy ? Eat papaya!

Adrian Hickford with:
Theological Departments =
I learn that God's complete.

Paul Klenk with:
Chocolate fudge =
Gut-ache of 'dolce'

Dean Mayer with:
The swim ~
wets him.

Mathew O'Dempsey with:
The connoisseur =
Nine-course host

Rosie Perera with:
The mousetraps =
Use to harm pest

Rosie Perera with:
Surprise attack =
Racket upstairs.

Rosie Perera with:
Climb mountains =
I summit on Blanc.

Rosie Perera with:
Billingsgate =
Stalling gibe.

Don Rogers with:
The digital camera =
Chart image detail!

Don Rogers with:
Their name is legion ~
(the religions, I mean).

Don Rogers with:
Blatherskite =
This beer talk.

Rick Rothstein with:
Anger is worst when ~
the answer is wrong.

Rick Rothstein with:
An old wives' tale: ~
"Eat slow and live."

Rick Rothstein with:
A monster =
Mean sort.

Rik Sengupta with:
I love you, darling ‡
You living ordeal!

Rik Sengupta with:
Experimentation or ~
examine, report on it.

Rik Sengupta with:
Indicates ~
Actinides.

Rik Sengupta with:
Sausages stirred into pasta =
Regards its use as antipasto.

Rik Sengupta with:
Abstain From Alcohol? =
Abnormal, foolish act.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Oh, death warms us up to ~
the posthumous award.

View with:
Pirate's a ~
parasite.

View with:
To cast pearls before swine =
Can refer to possible waste.


THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Ellie Dent with:
The James Bond movies starring Sean Connery =
His command's greatest: I never enjoy Brosnan.

2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
All Things Bright and Beautiful =
Lift a bible, laugh and sing truth.

3rd - Toby Gottfried with:
The Folies Bergere, Paris =
See if girl bares top here.

aussie battler with:
'The Odd Couple' ~
hope to cuddle?

Larry Brash with:
The Hills Are Alive With The Sound Of Music =
Tune is the love which Maria should stifle.

Larry Brash with:
Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata" =
The ovation has been most long.

Tony Crafter with:
Chopin Etudes =
Pseudo-ethnic.

Scott Gardner with:
Images of Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec ~
are of the Moulin Rouge's cute ladies.

Scott Gardner with:
The late comedian Johnny William Carson =
Millions watch and enjoy me in a chat role.

Paul Klenk with:
Four Brothers =
Robust, for her.

Meyran Kraus with:
Singer Leonard Cohen =
He's learned crooning.

Meyran Kraus with:
Mastermind Show =
Mensa wordsmith.

Rosie Perera with:
Hotel Manager Basil Fawlty =
I mean ghastly fellow at bar!

Rosie Perera with:
Giuseppe Verdi's famous opera "La Traviata" =
Overture, arias, divas...(gap of time)...applause.

Don Rogers with:
Asian actress Michelle Yeoh =
The Chinese? Closer -- Malaysia!

Don Rogers with:
The Forty-Year-Old Virgin =
Trying for very hot ideal.

Don Rogers with:
Lord Laurence Olivier =
Voice in old ruler "Lear".

Rick Rothstein with:
The Author Dan Brown's "The Da Vinci Code" ~
advanced doubt on the Christian "whore".

View with:
Singer Billy Ocean =
Really sonic being.


THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - Dean Mayer with:
Threat to Iraq leaders? =
The Al-Qaeda terrorist.

2nd - Paul Lusch with:
New Orleans evacuation =
A violent ocean as we run.

3rd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Gates may file for iPod patent cash =
Microsoft shafted Apple yet again.

David Bourke with:
The late Robin Cook =
Cheerio, total knob!

David Bourke with:
The NASA Space Shuttle Discovery =
Stephen: "Stray tiles caused havoc!"

David Bourke with:
The singer Madonna Ciccone =
Accident on menacing horse.

Larry Brash with:
Israeli settlers forced out of Gaza =
Tears... religious zealots carted off.

Richard Brodie with:
Katrina may be strongest hurricane ever seen in Gulf. =
Rank's four: mightily savage, but a serene inner center.

Tony Crafter with:
Let us halt Iran's nuclear ambition now! =
i.e: Bush mounts international war-call.

Richard Grantham with:
The Israeli settlement =
Let's eliminate the rest.

Meyran Kraus with:
The NASA space shuttle Discovery =
Astronauts: "Yes, vehicle's patched!"

Meyran Kraus with:
The Settlement Evacuations =
"Time to leave that scene, nuts!"

Paul Lusch with:
The Pearson International Airport =
I hear a plane's errant in Toronto pit.

Paul Lusch with:
Pearson International Airport =
Parisian plane, Ontario torrent.

Rosie Perera with:
Hurricane Katrina =
Thick rain area. Run!

Rosie Perera with:
Various rivers churn ~
hurricane survivors.

Rick Rothstein with:
The Saudi Royal Family =
Fahd: "I say, I'm really out!"

Rick Rothstein with:
The NASA space shuttle Discovery ~
evades catastrophe in such style.

Rick Rothstein with:
Category Five Hurricanes =
City fears huge rain cover.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Protestor, Cindy Sheehan =
Cry to pine her son's death.

View with:
Security =
Sure city.


THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Rik Sengupta with:
Leonardo da Vinci =
Dead icon - no rival.

2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Madonna Louise Ritchie =
"I can mount a horse", I lied.

3rd - Toby Gottfried with:
Field Marshal Bernard Montgomery =
Brits forge army and handle Rommel.

David Bourke with:
Abdullah, the King of Saudi Arabia =
Khalif? A dubious Taliban raghead.

Larry Brash with:
Leonard Norman Cohen =
Normal? He can drone on.

Tony Crafter with:
Mrs Iman Bowie =
I am semi-brown.

Tony Crafter with:
Bloody fantastic liar! =
Tony Blair. A solid fact.

Tony Crafter with:
The late Princess Margaret =
A rather angelic temptress.

Ellie Dent with:
Nurses Mary Seacole and Florence Nightingale =
Needy souls learn of the caring Crimean 'Angels'.

Ellie Dent with:
The Nobelist Pablo Neruda =
Poet, not reliable husband.

Scott Gardner with:
Actress Shirley Temple =
Smallest cheery sprite.

Scott Gardner with:
Mathematician Erdos =
A man does arithmetic.

David A. Green with:
The biologist Alfred Charles Kinsey =
One is skilled at bog-filthy research.

Adrian Hickford with:
Activist, Geldof ‡
Gifted vocalist.

Meyran Kraus with:
Oscar-Claude Monet =
Conclude: a maestro.

Rosie Perera with:
Ernest Hemingway =
Seen with grey man.

Rosie Perera with:
Queen Noor al-Hussein =
No one's her equal in U.S.

Don Rogers with:
Manfred, Baron von Richthofen =
Brave manhood in French front.

Don Rogers with:
Hungarian mathematician Paul Erdos =
Aha! A theorem man using radical input.

Don Rogers with:
Sculptor Auguste Rodin =
Procuring us old statue.

Don Rogers with:
Architect Maya Lin =
My art can elicit "Ah!"

Rick Rothstein with:
The famous Swedish astronomer Anders Celsius, ~
"Rumor is masses won't use Fahrenheit's odd scale."

Rik Sengupta with:
Nat King Cole ‡
Lacking note.

View with:
Painter Michelangelo Buonarroti =
Heart into marble or upon a ceiling.


THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Larry Brash with:
Microsoft Developer =
Deliverer of compost.

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
Stonehenge and Avebury in Wiltshire =
When in England, base your visit there.

3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
Clears land mines... Oh-oh! Forgot one! =
The Congressional Medal of Honor.

aussie battler with:
Cairngorm =
Minor crag.

David Bourke with:
Mongrels on heat bite, so handed to ~
The Battersea Dogs Home in London.

David Bourke with:
Siemens AG =
In message

Tony Crafter with:
GB river needs ~
Severn Bridge.

Tony Crafter with:
Jane Austen Society =
A sect auntie enjoys!

Toby Gottfried with:
Winston-Salem, North Carolina ~
warns on nicotine's harm to all.

Meyran Kraus with:
Wiltshire's Stonehenge and Avebury =
Saw heavy boulders nesting in there.

Rosie Perera with:
A Moog synthesizer =
Megahertz! So noisy!

Rosie Perera with:
American Animal Hospital Association =
I claim to heal cats' paranoias & insomnia.

Don Rogers with:
The Masonic Lodge =
Some old teaching.

Rick Rothstein with:
The State of Wisconsin =
This cow tastes fine, no?

Rik Sengupta with:
Fortessimo =
is more soft.

Rik Sengupta with:
The magnificent pyramids =
Time finds Egyptian charm.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Amanita phalloides =
I am also plain death.

View with:
Michelangelo Buonarroti's 'The Pieta' =
Ah, that religious one! Top, nice marble!


THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
"If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the world." =
And if a man tries to rationalize force to conduct wars, it shows us he is George Bush.

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
A Society couple are making love:
"Darling, do poor people do this?"
"I think so, my beloved."
"Far too good for them, don't you think?"
=
GIGOLO: "Ooh-la-la, my love; you look pretty after drink!"
SHE: "Come come poppet! Forgot so soon? I didn't have
a drink."
HE: "No, but I did."

3rd - Larry Brash with:
The members of Queen: Freddie Mercury, Roger Taylor, John Deacon, and Brian May =
A major band, formerly fronted by a magic hormone-enriched queer, endures yet.

David Bourke with:
Eris Fortessimo Neck and Decolletage Firming Cream =
Sag? Get firm! La creme de la creme of skin conditioners!

David Bourke with:
The Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Ian Warwick Blair =
Copper writes, in ire: "Maim Arabic criminals? No, we shoot to kill!"

Toby Gottfried with:
How many anagrammatists does it take to change 'a lightbulb'? =
Two.
TG makes the anagram, and LB ('Laugh Bit'?) says to each, "I NOM it!".

Rosie Perera with:
Dvorak's Symphony Number Nine in E minor, "From the New World" =
BSO perform renowned masterwork on vinyl. I hum hymn in end.

Rick Rothstein with:
George W. Bush, the President of the United States of America =
Pigheaded, obstinate, he recites stuff. Two terms are enough!

Rik Sengupta with:
Truly Neat Line of Fire: Hatred vested on the great City of New York=
I cry in relief, for the threatened key town fortunately got saved.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Three blokes met up to write anagrams in a bar.
They were a Yank called Mike, Chris, an Englishman and Michael from Ireland...
=
One fellow muttered 'Basra...Arabs.
Then a reply. Hey! "Marriage...A grim era".
Then 'ladies man' Mick , "Hell, I'm known as 'nice and thick'!"


THE LONG CATEGORY


1st - Ellie Dent with:

A MEDITATION FOR DE-STRESSING

Picture yourself near this quiet stream.
Look at the scene... the beauty of nature helps.
Look up. See a deep blue sky, the birds... how sweetly they sing.
A happy place... away from the usual hateful, unhappy world.
You know no one can bother you here.
Just soothing waterfall sounds echo on the air.
The water's clear.
=
You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you are holding under the water.
Look! It is the person who caused you all this stress in the first place.
What a pleasant surprise.
You let them up... just for one quick breath... then plop! Back under they go....
You allow yourself as many deep breaths as you want.
There now... feeling better?

2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
These five people won the right to enter Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory:
Augustus Gloop
Violet Beauregarde
Veruca Salt
Mike Teavee
and
Charlie Bucket

=
the 'Golden Ticket' group; very average, we feel.
look, see
a fat bastard
a vacuous gum-chewer
a spoilt little shit
a couch potato
one lucky winner, the believer.

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Lady Legge-Bourke took more than the normal care of her staff, so when Jeeves was hurt in an accident she went straight to the hospital. "No visitors allowed mam, just family," moaned an ill-mannered nurse. "Are you his wife?"
"God no!" said Lady Legge, gliding by; "I'm his mistress!"=
Sir Stuart Haynes-Fyffe, the Lord of the Manor, awoke one morning with a huge erection and immediately called for his butler. "Congratulations sir," said Jeeves; "shall I awaken madam?"
"No Jeeves," said his lordship; "get me my baggy shorts and we'll smuggle this one into town."

Larry Brash with:
Presenter: "A small-time operator who fell foul of Dinsdale Piranha was Mr.Vince Snetterton-Lewis."

Vince: "Well, this day I was at home threatening the kids, when I looks out through the hole in the wall and I sees this big tank pull up and out gets a couple of Dinsdale's boys, and so they comes on in all nice and friendly and says how Dinsdale wants to have a little chat with me, so they goes and chains me up to the back of the tank and takes me for a scrape around to Dinsdale's place and so Dinsdale's there in the conversation pit with Doug, and Charles Paisley, the baby crusher, and a couple of film producers, and a man who they called 'Kierkegaard', who just sat there biting the heads off whippets and Dinsdale says 'So well then, I hear you've been a naughty boy, Clement' and he splits me nostrils open and saws me leg off and rips me liver out and so I tell him my name ain't Clement and then... he completely loses his temper and nails me head to the floor."

Presenter: "He nailed your head to the floor?"

Vince: "At first, yeah."
=

Presenter: "Many of these remarkable tales are about Dinsdale, but what of Doug's ruthlessness? A man who met him was Luigi Vercotti."

Vercotti: "I'd been runnin' an elegant little escort agency... eh, high class business, yes really, top rate girls... we've none of *that*... well, hardly any... so we decided... pardon me, please... hello... not now... shtum... eh, yes, I'll have the watch ready at half-eleven... yes, half-past eleven... the watch... the bleedin' Chinese watch... speak later... eh, Mother. So I made my mind up and opened a posh night club for the well-off gentry with international cuisine and cookin' and top line acts, and not a tasteless clip joint for the toffs pickin' up tarts... that was not on at all, I deny that... and one day in strolls Dinsdale and some big lads, one of whom supposedly had a thermo-nuclear missile. He said I had one of his poker machines and asked me to pay for it. He demanded half a million pounds. Then he told me I had to see... Doug... he knew all the tRick Rothsteins... irony, metaphor, puns, parody, and... satire. He was vicious, hard and... so selfless."

Meyran Kraus with:

Spring is here, ah-spah-ring is here,
Life is skittles and life is beer.
I think the loveliest time of the year is the spring. I do, don't you?
'Course you do.
But there's one thing that makes spring complete for me,
And makes every Sunday a treat for me...

All the world seems in tune
On a spring afternoon,
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park.
Every Sunday you'll see
My sweetheart and me,
As we poison the pigeons in the park.

When they see us coming, the birdies all try an' hide,
But they still go for peanuts when coated with cyanide...
The sun's shining bright,
Everything seems all right,
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park.

We've gained notoriety,
And caused much anxiety
In the Audubon Society
With our games.
They call it impiety
And lack of propriety,
And quite a variety
Of unpleasant names.
But it's not against any religion
To want to dispose of a pigeon.

So if Sunday you're free,
Why don't you come with me,
And we'll poison the pigeons in the park.
And maybe we'll do
In a squirrel or two,
While we're poisoning pigeons in the park.

We'll murder them all amid laughter and merriment,
Except for the few we take home to experiment...
My pulse will be quickenin'
With each drop of strych'nine
We feed to a pigeon
(It just takes a smidgin)
To poison a pigeon in the park!

=

April 2

'PIGEON PREYING' PRACTICE PEAKS

Many people join in the quirky new trend of pigeon slaying, made popular by Tom Lehrer. "I think it's nifty, they're quite easy to shoot", said park ranger Hugh Weiner while skinning a dove.
Meanwhile, elderly women, stuck with extra crumbs, have fed them to insects instead; these, in turn, grew to unwieldy proportions.

April 11

GNAT GANGS GROW GIANT

Huge bugs besiege the city! The mayor reports that nine mosquitoes flew into his house and took off with one of his
wife's Pomeranians.
"Patience, you'll be safe soon - we keep highly trained exterminators, you see", Wildlife Agent Hugh Weiner explained
while unchaining ninety monkeys.

April 20

MAD MONKEYS MAKE MAYHEM

It was definitely not worth it: Apes let loose to end the insects' invasion have spread a heinous plague.
"Oh, there is no need to panic", Senior Wildlife Agent Weiner noted, "It kills monkeys, but it only promotes a mild form of
death in humans."

May 7

PIGEON PLOPS PARRY PLAGUE

A cure has been found to the disease that preyed on our city: pigeon leavings. The news drew people to run into parks, douse themselves with wet cement and pose as statues.
"I commend that dainty bird", said the new Secretary of the Interior, Hugh Weiner, "It truly is a higher being."


THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Richard Brodie with:
A poem by Lord Byron.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
On an Infant Dying as Soon as Born by Charles Lamb



3rd - Christopher Sturdy with:
A beauty from The Sound of Music

Gregory Betts with:
I've just come out with a book of poetry, where all of the poems are perfect anagrams of each other. For fun, I thought I'd post a set of the poems to the site to see what kind of response they generate. I should mention that I did all of the anagrams manually, without any computer program assistance. Every single one is totally different, though they are all exactly 525 letters long with the same letter frequency!

You can find out more about the project here


Anagram 1:

The Scrabblelology

Alfred Mosher Butts [formulas herd Betts] anagrammatician and architect from Poughkeepsie, United States, fashioned a game he called CRISS CROSS WORDS. His playful cryptographic investigation of our language and his original tile distribution system compelled generations, billions of games played. Inventors cherish the profitable titan, its intuitive straightforwardness. Poets energize, launch the waffling effect into lingual callisthenics of cut voices. Students listen to pacific hip-hop, flick oily joints, play in school as legitimate fun.

The unambitious watch with faith, inhale the social milieu.

=

Anagram 2:

The Anagram is:

Christian, it re-enacts the resurrection
Buddhist, it embodies the fall of worldliness
Islamic, dwells in constant, humble litany
Oulipian, by following Juno’s code of brouhaha
Post-structuralist, it seizes gesture, takes up the semiograph
Canadian, puffing hash in teepees, it hugs itself
Page Fauna, a pun feud of foliage, interstitial page
Formalist, loving evolving architecture
Post-McCafferyist, a triste erotic to the full
Romantic, speaking in the wind of Goethe
Satirical, employs the ironic against levelling calm
Economic, it shifts nomadic cohesion, sells filthy badlands
Calligraphy: it is “the body which throbs”

=
Anagram 3:

Bonavista Cube Dog Creek Belleville Calgary Ste. Foy Toronto Ungava Sissibo Yellowknife Winnipeg McPhee Ripples Whitehorse Ucluelet Medicine Hat St. Paul Spirit Fundy Ottawa-Hull Fleet St. Gregor Baffin Fredericton Shining Tree Montreal Idol Catfish Ghita Edmonton Tulita St. Hyacinthe Lethbridge Flin Flon [Adanac] Flathead Dominion Holdfast Titian Pelee Mississauga Churchill Spyhill Regina Miramichi Faith Cupids Cypress Falls False Antigonish Hazlet Ruisseau Hinton Pacific Anticosti South Erie Moose Stand Off Bissett Summit Scugog Asbestos Tsiigehtchic Mun Portage la Prairie Charlottetown St. John’s Victoria

=

Anagram 4:

of gods to goddesses piercing through the flammable ether, of hope to portents and the ongoing pressures of standardization, of love the fallible act of defiance, the magical cancellation of impending capitalism, the brilliant charlatan assesses wishes, as souls utilise wait, it records resounding and full rejoice, this yearning for the spirit north, for divinity impressionably manifest, waking alive this pounding out the rhythms of the reverie, like the truth's cue for this significant occasion, accumulating alphabetical accessibility, calculating the statistical well of this beauty-wish, coming up empty, full, implausible

David Bourke with:
'Don't Let's Be Beastly To The Germans' - Noel Coward [Version IV]

Tony Crafter with:
Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl

Mike Keith with:
Edna St. Vincent Millay's famous poem on Euclid


THE RUDE CATEGORY

1st - Rick Rothstein with:
Visit the bathroom =
Shit, bathe or vomit.

2nd - David Bourke with:
Giant testicles ~
testing elastic.

3rd - Rik Sengupta with:
Pension =
No penis.

aussie battler with:
Sensuality ‡
use any slit.

Larry Brash with:
A betrothed couple =
Bed her to copulate.

Tony Crafter with:
Wonderbras ~
draw boners.

Tony Crafter with:
Old cunts =
Cold nuts.

Tony Crafter with:
Unnatural =
Anal U-turn.

Tony Crafter with:
A brothel's a ~
harlot-base.

Toby Gottfried with:
The State of Wisconsin =
Cow shit tastes fine?...No.

Adrian Hickford with:
Who reads ~
whore ads?

Meyran Kraus with:
Naked S&M Play =
Spank me, lady!

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
The bondage girls =
Gag the blonde, sir!

Don Rogers with:
Bondage and discipline =
Insane bodice-paddling.

Don Rogers with:
A blatherskite =
Be a shit-talker.

Rick Rothstein with:
The fine art of cunnilingus =
Sinful if eating on her cunt.

Christopher Sturdy with:
An erotic novel =
erection on lav.


The Anagrammy Awards