Yes, most realized later ~
size really does matter!

Tenor Placido =
Old 'n' operatic.

The Stink in Farts Controls Blood Pressure =
Pants' rotten odor curbs the risk of illness!

George "Dubya" Bush =
D'oh! Bye, U.S.A. bugger!

Transportation Security Administration =
It's one damn irritant at U.S. city airports, no?

"You can't call yourself a maverick when all you've ever been is a sidekick." =
One foe evaluated McCain: "Like a lucky Bush-lover ass-licker in every way!"

Often frustrated, a dated McCain will forfeit the White House yet to peerless BHO!

TERRORISM
IF YOU SUSPECT IT
REPORT IT

TERRORISTS NEED INFORMATION

Observation and surveillance help terrorists plan attacks. Have you seen anyone taking pictures of security arrangements?

TERRORISTS NEED TRANSPORTATION

If you work in vehicle hire or sales, has a sale or rental made you suspicious?

TERRORISTS NEED TO TRAVEL

Meetings, training and planning can take place anywhere. Do you know someone who travels but is vague about where they are going?

TERRORISTS USE COMPUTERS

Do you know someone who visits terrorism-related websites?

TERRORISTS NEED COMMUNICATION

Anonymous, pay-as-you-go and stolen mobiles are typical. Have you seen someone with large quantities of mobiles? Has it made you suspicious?

CALL 0816 789 321 (54)
CONFIDENTIAL ANTI-TERRORIST HOTLINE
LONDON METROPOLITAN POLICE

=

TOP TEN WAYS TO TELL IF YOUR
OPINIONATIVE UNSHAVEN SURGEON
MAY BE AN OUTSPOKEN ISLAMIC
TERRORIST, NO?

1. Cheesy medical office suite in an ideal unknown, eerie cave.

TERRORIST, NO?

2. Oasis parking spot has a very conspicuous camel tied to a palm tree.

TERRORIST, NO?

3. Television in the waiting room set to NBC/CNN.

TERRORIST, NO?

4. Spontaneously tells you to stop eating bacon.

TERRORIST, NO?

5. You ask the name of his gruesome surgical implements, and wise comeback is "shrapnel."

TERRORIST, NO?

6. Alma Mater is Al Qaeda University.

TERRORIST, NO?

7. Woe! Very unfashionable, sweet 8-year-old daughter is married.

TERRORIST, NO?

8. Unamusedly calls your bagel a "death donut."

TERRORIST, NO?

9. Gives you the keys to his new eye-popping Mercedes auto.

TERRORIST, NO?

10. Ends up all sessions with a furious "Death to evil America now!"

TERRORIST, NO?

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

Huge breasts; =
Great bushes.

White House statement: "Leader search:- we offered the difficult post to Tony Blair!"

Overwound bankers =
Nervous breakdown.

Transrealism =
In art's realms.

Fumbling at one's claim =
Global Finance Summit.

The British National Party's Mini Manifesto =
No rise of Islam in that empty Britannia shit.

Rodgers and Hammerstein hit musical "The Sound of Music" =
Fond Miss teaches smug Austrian children to hum "Do Re Mi"

"Brehaut is the most steely candidate for the office's title!", wrote hopeful Andrew!

Antique furniture =
Quainter in future.

Bruce Palin =
Republican.

The Mediterranean island of Cyprus =
Suntan's a perfect holiday reminder.

We had all better direct utmost efforts to deny the Palin arse White House office.

Tense America hates stupid Bush, if banks threatened too =
The President of the United States Barack Hussein Obama.

The South African Society for Amateur Paleontologists =
Aha! one of you nutters might locate a triceratops fossil.

The Prime Minister Gordon Brown =
Borrowing renders him impotent!

Leonard Goodman =
An old-aged moron.

No difference to me. At least Bush is out, hyperfast...farewell to the wretched idiot!

Lost virtues =
It's over, slut!

Dried flower arrangements =
Redeem garlands for winter.

"Dancing With the Stars" =
Watch their standings!

John McCain says to David Letterman, "I screwed up." =
Nice save! Just direct some charm and downplay it.

Christine Lagarde, France's foremost money woman =
Can a former synchronised swimmer get one afloat?

US Election Day =
You and I select.

"When good people in any country cease their vigilance and struggle, then evil men prevail." Pearl S. Buck =
Clever planning can rig the November election; we each should investigate, proudly speaking up early.

I trust we'll see a Democratic win by the fifth; let's hope not to suffer a heated redo!

Two elderly sisters were sitting out on a city park bench in front of a town hall where a flower show was in progress.

The older one said, 'My life is getting boring. There's just no spice anymore. For ten dollars, I'd take off my clothes and streak that stupid flower show!'
"You're on!" said the other old lady, holding up ten dollars.

The first old lady fumbled out of her clothes and ran bare-naked through the door into the show.

=

Her sister heard a commotion in the hall -- noisy applause, followed by loud hoots and howls. Soon the wrinkled lady flew swiftly out through the front door of the show on foot, surrounded by a jolly crowd of cheering, saluting New Yorkers.

"So, what happened?" grilled the eager sister still sitting comfortably out in front.

The streaker frowned, hesitated, and then shared, "I took First Place as Best Dried Arrangement."

A palinode

Ode to Palin

If you still don't know what to be for Halloween...

'Penthouse' and 'Playboy' found in college dormitories =
Pupils merely felt bonus: good hand-eye coordination!

To understand the lab bench ~
burn the candle at both ends.

You are history =
I hate you... sorry.

Water Lilies ('Nympheas') by Claude-Oscar Monet =
I create many atmospheric blues, and yellows.

A crisis on Wall Street ~
will start a recession.

Monsieur Edouard Manet =
Moi? Use a nude? Modern art.

I'm totally indifferent to each side, who defeats who... suspect trouble thereafter.

The French Impressionist School of Artists =
He's from this concise short list of painters.

Face the end! Obama (he's a pretty cool dude) is sure set for the win with little effort.

An erotic video ‡
Avoid erection!

The Republican Party =
Elephant-crap - Bury it!

Security's tottered. Adolf Hitler, Osama bin Laden effect White House power theft.

Unfettered capitalism =
I trust, tap in, am fleeced.

Sarah Louise and Todd Mitchell Palin =
The dud political lass and her oilman.

No testy stuffed shirt can defeat a cool-tempered liberal wit for the White House.

Vibrates =
It's a verb.

Republican campaigning =
McCain: Bugger. Palin: Pain.

Different web polls reiterate to the US that the Democrat should win office easy.

Gourmet =
More gut.

Sub-prime mortgage =
Premium to beggars.

Barack Hussein Obama =
Skin! Aroma! Such a babe!

Ambien =
I ban 'em.

Is it wrong to pick my nose? =
Two opinions: Germ; sticky.

Foreclosures ‡
Cure roofless!

A torrid love scene? =
Read erotic novels.

O.J. Simpson guilty verdict =
Providing justice... mostly.

The sweetest, youthful, Afro-American icon or this detested, whipt, feeble old fart?

The Vagina Monologues =
Gave to musing on a hole.

Fallopian tubes =
Plans about life.

Iceland to fall now, blaming ~
global financial meltdown.

The Godless Americans Political Action Committee =
Democrats came in to compel atheistic legislation.

An African American as President of the United States? =
Can interested enthusiasm defeat frantic paranoias?

Red States prefer the failed, obsolete, white old fart McCain to the fun, wise youth.

John Adams, as two-term Vice President to George Washington: "My country has in its wisdom contrived for me the most insignificant office that ever the invention of man contrived or his imagination conceived!"

=

Dan Something-or-other, the thin misfit who served for GW's dad, wrote "potatoe" -- inviting stiff indictments ("No, its..."), mimics, cynics jeering at that naive communication on every occasion, and no one ever forgave him.

Raphael, "Deposition from the Cross" =
Paint corpse of the Lord or Messiah.

The Troopergate scandal =
Sarah not to get replaced?

Runner Lord Sebastian Newbold Coe =
Unbeatable Londoner wins records.

The Grand Mosque =
Themes: God, Qur'an.

That Democrat effortlessly defeats tired Republican foe to win the White House.

This Anagram Artist software is way too complex for a nitwit like me to comprehend! =
I may get a few words, tweak intricate extras, compile a not too short final morphism.

Of those they endorsed for true ethics, few tolerated impeachable faults in twit.

A very busy holiday in a Thailand hotel room! =
I root a shaved ladyboy. I hurt in my anal hole!

Macular degeneration =
No miracle guaranteed.

Walt Disney's 'High School Musical' =
Long, acclaimed hit-show is slushy.

Songstress Madonna and Producer Guy Ritchie =
Thud! So Rocco's parents' 'undying' marriage ends?

Piers Stefan Pughe-Morgan =
Grin often appears smug, eh?

The International Monetary Fund (IMF) =
They lent infirm nation a fortune. Mad!

The four group members: Benny Andersson, Bjorn Ulvaeus, Anni-Frid Lyngstad, Agnetha Faltskog. =
The famous ABBA. Stunning girls and jolly guys sang 'Fernando', then broke up forever. Smart end!

We fancy it's the dude who'll, in effect, defeat the terrorist. Let's hope it's our Obama!

Read this question, come up with your answer and then scroll down to the bottom for the result. This is not a trick question. It is exactly as it appears. No one I know has got it correct yet - including myself.

A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met a guy she did not know. Yet she thought this guy was amazing, the perfect stereotype dream guy, and considered him to be just the type of man she had always wanted! Straight away, she fell completely in love with him, yet, unluckily, never asked for his name or a number and could not trace him. A few days later she killed her sister.

Question: What is her motive in killing her sister? (Give it some thought before you try to answer it).

SCROLL DOWN.


=

Answer: She was hoping that the man would appear at the funeral again.

If you answered correctly, then this shows that you think like a psychopath. This quiz was devised by a renowned American psychologist to test which of us have the same mentality as killers.

Several arrested killers did the test and the deranged nuts answered the question correctly.

If you didn't answer the question correctly, then good for you. If you got it right, then please let me know imminently so I can remove you from my mailing list forthwith; unless that will make you mad, in which case I'll just be downright extra-nice to you from now on. Be sure to share the test!

Do remember to let me know if you got it right!

OUR LAST SUMMER
By Abba

"MY CHERIE AMOUR"
By Stevie Wonder

A masturbating male =
Blue anagrammatist!

Cutthroat =
Act to hurt.

Famous actress Katie Holmes =
Hot female ass. Ask Tom Cruise.

Another huge Dow loss =
Lowest. So hard! Enough!

Chairman Bernanke =
A rich 'n' mean banker.

The Caribbean islands =
Here sit bad cannibals.

Place all rude anagrams in message body =
Idea: Large boner can damage small pussy.