Anagrammy Award Winners - 2011
Here are all the winners of Anagrammy Awards in 2012. All
anagrams have been checked for accuracy by the Anagrammy Checker.
[January] [February] [March]
January 2012
- General Category:
- 1st place:
Rick Rothstein with:
A lot of sins, hence... ~
the Confessional. - 2nd place:
View with:
Absolution =
Obtain soul - 3rd place:
nedesto with:
71% of women usually do think their asses are damn big ~
but 17%, if so asked, would nonetheless marry him again!
- 1st place:
- Entertainment Category:
Meyran Kraus with:
Mad genius Dr. No =
Dangerous mind! - Topical Category:
Ivan Andonov with:
United States Marine Corps =
Its men urinated at corpses. - Rude Category (tie):
nedesto with:
Threesomes =
Hetero mess!
Tony Crafter with:
The rectal suppository for constipation =
I post up arse
I clench
I try not to fart...
Oops! :-( - Medium Length Category:
nedesto with:
The Superior called the sisters together informing them in dismay, "And, as of now, we have a case of gonorrhea in the convent!"
=
"Yes! Praise Heaven!" sang a nun coming over to the front of the room as she cheered, "We're so tired of swilling that damn Chianti!" - Long Category:
Tony Crafter with:
THE HOTTEST WOMEN OF ALL TIME.
(As voted by 'Men's Health' magazine)
1. Jennifer Aniston
2. Raquel Welch
3. Marilyn Monroe
4. Britney Spears
5. Madonna
6. Ursula Andress
7. Bettie Page
8. Pamela Anderson
9. Jane Fonda
10. Angelina Jolie
11. Sharon Stone
12. Scarlett Johansson
13. Catherine Deneuve
14. Megan Fox
15. Jenny McCarthy
16. Christie Brinkley
17. Anna Nicole Smith
18. Shakira
19. Heather Locklear
20. Heidi Klum
=
1. Because she's worth it!
2. A caveman's moll
3. The blonde gentlemen preferred
4. A little nuts?
5. Like a virgin? Er... no
6. Left James Bond shaken and stirred
7. Oh... Huh?
8. Inane Amazon
9. aka 'Hanoi Jane'
10. "My enemy!" (Jennifer Aniston)
11. Basically horny
12. A Manhattan starlet
13. French icon
14. Comely and American
15. - ditto -
16. Joel's uptown girl
17. Late American heiress
18. Ah, sexy hips!
19. On 'T. J. Hooker'
20. 'Seal's German queen - People's Names Category):
nedesto with:
British scientist Stephen William Hawking =
Knew spacetime with his brilliant insights. - Other Names Category (tie):
nedesto with:
Stop Online Piracy Act =
Potential conspiracy? - Anagrammy Challenge Category:
Rosie Perera with:
"This plot is the best I have seen all my life
For it raises the flowers and covers my wife"
=
I've always been selfish;
So I'm sad, left to rot.
I never was perfect;
My, this hellfire is hot! - Special Category:
- 1st place:
Meyran Kraus with:
Inspired by the 2012 doomsday predictions, Longfellow's poem January from 'The Poet's Calendar' is anagrammed into an ominous poem with a bleak word for an acrostic:
Janus am I; oldest of potentates;
Forward I look, and backward, and below
I count, as god of avenues and gates,
The years that through my portals come and go.
I block the roads, and drift the fields with snow;
I chase the wild-fowl from the frozen fen;
My frosts congeal the rivers in their flow,
My fires light up the hearths and hearts of men.
=
From My Vantage Point
Dark fears which fouled the new year from the start
Each shall engulf our flesh and swiftly thwart
Some efforts of mad folk with golden hearts;
Past blows have made our high-born star descend,
And any other fate is moot, good friend -
It's what the knowing Zodiac portends.
Rejoice, since this is all about to end.
However, all is not lost - if the lines of this poem are shuffled, a more positive poem and acrostic emerge:
From My Vantage Point
Past blows have made our high-born star descend...
Rejoice, since this is all about to end -
And any other fate is moot, good friend;
It's what the knowing Zodiac portends:
Some efforts of mad folk with golden hearts
Each shall engulf our flesh and swiftly thwart
Dark fears which fouled the new year from the start. /li> - 2nd place:
Tony Crafter with:
A STRANGE WILD SONG
By
Lewis Carroll
He thought he saw an Elephant
That practised on a fife:
He looked again, and found it was
A letter from his wife.
"At length I realize," he said,
"The bitterness of life!"
He thought he saw a Buffalo
Upon the chimney-piece:
He looked again, and found it was
His Sister's Husband's Niece.
"Unless you leave this house," he said,
"I'll send for the police!"
He thought he saw a Rattlesnake
That questioned him in Greek:
He looked again, and found it was
The Middle of Next Week.
"The one thing I regret," he said,
"Is that it cannot speak!"
He thought he saw a Banker's Clerk
Descending from the bus:
He looked again, and found it was
A Hippopotamus.
"If this should stay to dine," he said,
"There won't be much for us!"
He thought he saw a Kangaroo
That worked a Coffee-mill:
He looked again, and found it was
A Vegetable-Pill.
"Were I to swallow this," he said,
"I should be very ill!"
He thought he saw a Coach-and-Four
That stood beside his bed:
He looked again, and found it was
A Bear without a Head.
"Poor thing," he said, "poor silly thing!
It's waiting to be fed!"
=
Adieu To...
THE TITULAR IDIOTS OF MODERN TIMES
He thought he was the U.K's Choice
So suave, so debonair
He looked again to find he was
That puppet, Tony Blair.
"At least I've had last laugh," he said
"For I'm a millionaire!"
He thought he was Cock of the Walk
Then, turning with a 'swoosh'!
He looked again to see he was
Prize twit, George W. Bush.
"What dumb things did I spout?" he said,
"Hell... none! (one at a push!")
He thought he was Invincible,
For decades he could reign,
He looked again and saw he was
Despot Saddam Hussein
"At least I kept Iraq secure,"
He said, "Now it's insane."
He thought he was the God of Sex,
But it was baloney.
He looked to find he was, tut tut,
Deflated, Berlusconi
"Ok, I had affairs," he puffed,
"But, man I was not lonely!"
He thought he was top Desert King
Star of foreign affairs
He looked again to find he was
Gaddafi fleeing scared.
Though hated by his folk, he had
A lifelong friend in Blair.
He thought he was the President
Who had the keenest brain
He looked again to see he was
Bill Clinton, clear and plain.
"At least in my career," he said,
"I only left one stain."/li> - 3rd place (tie):
David Bourke with:
Happy birthday Kate! As the Duchess of Cambridge turns 30, FEMAIL brings you 30 facts about our future queen
- Eq3rd - Tony Crafter with:
THE CURRY CONTEST
(If you manage to read this story without laughing then there's absolutely no hope for you.)
For any of you who have lived in Natal, you'll know how typical this is. They actually have a Curry Cook-off around June/July. It takes up a large portion of a parking lot at the Royal Show in Pietermaritzburg.
Judge #3 was an inexperienced food critic named Frank, who was visiting from America.
Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at the Curry Cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking them for directions to the beer garden when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Natal Indians) that the curry wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I duly decided I would accept."
Here are the scorecard notes from the event:
MADHU'S MANIAC MONSTER TOMATO CURRY....
Judge # 1 -- A little heavy on tomato, yet amusingly tangy.
Judge # 2 -- Nice smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with it. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. Dammit, these people are crazy.
DIPALI'S PHOENIX BBQ CHICKEN CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of chicken. Slight chilli tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting flavour, needs more peppers added to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- My God! Keep this out of the reach of children! I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre! They had to rush in more beer on seeing the distress on my face.
PADMA'S FAMOUS "BURN DOWN THE GARAGE" CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- Excellent, peppery, firehouse curry. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, with good use of chilli peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call security. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I've been snorting Drain Cleaner. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back to stop me gagging; now my spine is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting decidedly pissed from all the beer.
GANDHI'S BLACK MAGIC BEAN CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- Black bean curry with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a curry.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sachika, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 34-stone woman is starting to look HOT... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chilli an aphrodisiac?
~
BABOO'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...
Judge # 1 -- A meaty, strong curry. Freshly ground Cayenne peppers do bestow a considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Good-to-average beef curry, could use more tomato. I must admit, the kick of the chilli makes quite a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are buzzing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The woman contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chilli had given me brain damage. Sachika saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly onto it from the pitcher. I wonder if I have burnt my lips off. It hacks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them, the jackasses.
VERISHNA'S VEGETARIAN VARIETY...
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian curry. A good balance of spices.
Judge # 2 -- Hoorah! The best yet! Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Just superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. I am without doubt going to shit myself if I fart and I am worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems keen to stand behind me except that Sachika. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my arse with a snow cone ice-cream.
SHAKALAKA'S "MOTHER-IN-LAW'S-TONGUE" CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre curry with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Okay, but tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chilli peppers at the last moment. (I should take note at this stage that I am a bit worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably).
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I would not feel a thing. I have lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is filled with rushing water. My khaki shirt is covered with curry which dribbled unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava which matches my shirt. At least, during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I have decided to stop breathing - it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
BHAKTI'S TOENAIL-CURLING COOKBOOK CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- Ah, the perfect ending. This is a nice, enjoyable curry blend with bite. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced textbook curry. Not too mild but not too hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the curry pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he is going to make it. Poor man; I wonder how he would have reacted to a really hot curry?
Judge # 3 - No Report.
/li>
- 1st place:
- Awardsmaster's Choice Award for a non-winning anagram:
Dharam Khalsa with:
Worthiness ~
wins others.
List of all nominated
anagrams for January 2012
[January] [February] [March]
February 2012
- General Category:
- 1st place:
Scott Gardner with:
The supervillain =
His plan? True evil! - 2nd place:
Meyran Kraus with:
The politician's career =
Practice lies on the air. - 3rd place:
nedesto with:
When I asked my pal Fred about his ornery addiction to ~
brake fluid, he said, "Oh, don't worry, Ed. I can stop any time."
- 1st place:
- Entertainment Category:
Ivan Andonov with:
"The Satanic Verses" by Salman Rushdie =
Such essays threaten evil Arab minds. - Topical Category:
Adie Pena with:
Singer Whitney Elizabeth Houston is found dead =
Another sad showbiz life in the US ... it ended young. - Rude Category:
Tony Crafter with:
Shoot semen =
One hot mess. - Medium Length Category:
Tony Crafter with:
"If at first the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it." - Albert Einstein
=
The finest intuitions or theories lie based in the dafter parts of the brain! - Long Category
Andrew Brehaut with:
I was a very happy person.
My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me .. it was her beautiful, voluptuous, younger sister.
My future sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight mini-skirts, and generally was braless. She would regularly wink and then bend right down when she was near me, and I always got more than a full pleasant look at her delectable private parts.
It had to be deliberate. She never exhibited herself when she was near any other males.
One day, my cute "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check all of the wedding invitations. She was all alone when I got there, and she whispered to me that she had so many suppressed emotions and desires for me that she could not deny.
She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
=
Well, I was in shock, and couldn't breathe a word. She said, "I'm going to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, come and get me, sweetheart."
I was stunned and reeling in shock as I beheld the jewess travel up the stairs. When she reached the top, the vixen sleekly leant over, pulled at her shoestring bikini panties baring her flawless arse and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there mindlessly for a moment, then reversed and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and maneuvered straight towards my VW Beetle.
Lo and behold, my entire new family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law to be hugged me and uttered, "We are very happy that you have resisted our little sensory test.....we believe we couldn't ask for a sweeter man for our dearest daughter. Welcome to the family."
And the moral of the story is:
Always keep all your condoms in your car. - People's Names Category:
Meyran Kraus with:
The singer Adele =
A legend is there. - Other Names Category:
Dharam Khalsa with:
Amazon's Kindle e-Reader =
Elders are amazed: "No ink?!" - Anagrammy Challenge Category:
Adie Pena with:
If Planet Earth comes to an end on the morning of December twenty-first this year, what will you do the night before? =
Since I'm diabetic, I'd repent, head for town, blow all my money on the SWEET stuff, forget the horror ... then EAT ANYTHING! - Special Category:
- 1st place:
Meyran Kraus with:
If the dull substance of my flesh were thought,
Injurious distance should not stop my way;
For then despite of space I would be brought,
From limits far remote where thou dost stay.
No matter then although my foot did stand
Upon the farthest earth removed from thee;
For nimble thought can jump both sea and land
As soon as think the place where he would be.
But ah! thought kills me that I am not thought,
To leap large lengths of miles when thou art gone,
But that so much of earth and water wrought
I must attend time's leisure with my moan,
Receiving nought by elements so slow
But heavy tears, badges of either's woe.
The other two, slight air and purging fire,
Are both with thee, wherever I abide;
The first my thought, the other my desire,
These present-absent with swift motion slide.
For when these quicker elements are gone
In tender embassy of love to thee,
My life, being made of four, with two alone
Sinks down to death, oppress'd with melancholy;
Until life's composition be recured
By those swift messengers return'd from thee,
Who even but now come back again, assured
Of thy fair health, recounting it to me:
This told, I joy; but then no longer glad,
I send them back again and straight grow sad.
=
The Four Forces
Ferocious flames! How hurtful, at their worst,
Incinerating forests in a flash,
Reducing with those mammoth, brutal bursts
Each tree into this barren pile of ash;
But often, fires of this major scope
Just judge the budding plant's attempt to cope -
And gift the strongest bulb that second hope.
As gloomy clouds go by like puffs of smoke,
I latch onto this muse they leave behind,
Remembering the moments they evoke,
The poignant thoughts which haunt my heavy mind.
But those become unravelled as I stare;
It's truly hard to grasp the When and Where -
For memories are fluent as the air.
When Nature had enough of summer strife
And bathes this meadow with a sweeping flood,
The most unhealthy weed might come to life,
Emerging in that puddle in the mud.
Rain can erode the mountain with its flow,
But tends to wash away the numbing woe -
Like wild weeds by the road, life needs to grow.
Eternal flame or cloud or stormy gloom
Are but null things to those within the earth;
Roots won't depart the quiet of her womb -
They've been below that gorgeous ground from birth.
How good it feels, in these embattled days,
To know that even when the sky is gray,
There is one solid thing that's here to stay.
- 2nd place:
Adie Pena with: I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU If I should stay, I would only be in your way. So I'll go, but I know I'll think of you ev'ry step of the way. And I will always love you. I will always love you. You, my darling you. Hmm. Bittersweet memories that is all I'm taking with me. So, goodbye. Please, don't cry. We both know I'm not what you, you need. And I will always love you. I will always love you. I hope life treats you kind And I hope you have all you've dreamed of. And I wish to you, joy and happiness. But above all this, I wish you love. And I will always love you. I will always love you. I will always love you. I will always love you. I will always love you. I, I will always love you. You, darling, I love you. Ooh, I'll always, I'll always love you. = YOU WILL ALWAYS LIVE ON If you should fly, It would awkwardly make me cry. So you'll go, but I know I'll think of you ev'ry day 'til I die. Yes, you will always live on. You will always live on. You, my idol, you. Hmm. Visible MTVs That is all I will have with me. So, goodbye. Please, don't sigh They do see that you have to be free. Oh, you will always live on. You will always live on. "Stop," I pray, "Ease a pain." Ooh, I do gasp for joy, too, and pride. I'm awake with audios about your death, Obituaries go media-wide. But you will always live on. You will always live on. You will always live on. You will always live on. You will always live on. You, you will always live on. You, Whitney, will live on. Ooh, you'll always, you'll always live on. - eq3rd place:
Tony Crafter with:
Titanic Poem - 'The Destroyer'.
Out of the night it came, that menace of the seas,
Unmarked by sound and unobserved, its prey of souls to seize;
A pallid shape, dim in the fog, a monster, on it came.
And wallowed in the ocean path, its toll of deaths to claim.
All boasts of modern safeguards, mere affectations were;
Inventive minds it mocked and giant ships seemed dwarfs to her.
That mammoth ship, with armor plate, was but a cockle-shell,
And when its unseen hand reached out, with ease the giant fell.
And then it laughed; it closed its hand; then watched the work it wrought;
The frenzied screams of dying men, sweet music to it brought.
Unmoved it stood, with eager mien, while fifteen hundred souls
Went struggling down for evermore to rest in watery holes.
Its evil deed accomplished, it drew a conquering breath,
And all about the wreckage, a shadow cast of Death.
The mightiest of giant ships had just obeyed its nod,
And fifteen hundred souls their final voyage made to God.
=
'A Damaged Vessel' - The Unfit Leader
Into the light it came, a princess of the sea,
With silent grace it sleekly showed its might and majesty
But wait... it should not be this near! Yet nearer still it came;
The waiting rocks of Giglio prepared to stake their claim.
A crunch! resounded through the ship, the rocks tore through its side,
"Where is the captain? Find this man!" the frightened people cried.
A boss to give the signal for the lifeboats to be manned,
A stolid, steadfast man of status, someone who'd command.
A man to tell them what to do, who minded, was well versed,
Who'd activate that vital rule: 'Women and children first'!
"Where did the captain go?" demanded victims in distress;
They quizzed the crew but no one knew - all they could do was guess...
Fear and pandemonium were buffeting around,
And then that fateful shout of fear: "My God, she's going down!"
Some were doomed to be snuffed out, they'd live and laugh no more...
Meantime, Captain F. Schettino was safe and sound on shore.
- eq3rd place:
Christopher Sturdy with:
Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;
Whose misadventur'd piteous overthrows
Doth with their death bury their parents' strife.
=
I reached once more this date in February,
How vivid is the hurt of last year's farce;
I looked to well-intentioned poetry
And with poor use, to fall right on my arse.
I suffer words like 'geek', their heartbreak throw,
It's rough I suffer from this woman's scorn;
Saint Valentine himself with Cupid's bow,
Could not have saved the love that ne'er was born.
- 1st place:
- Awardsmaster's Choice Award for a non-winning anagram:
David Bourke with:
A "woman in comfortable shoes" ~
has common lesbian footwear.
List of all nominated anagrams for February 2012
[January] [February] [March]
March 2012
- General Category:
- 1st place:
Christopher Sturdy with:
Sticking to the speed limit =
This implied 'get no tickets'. - 2nd place:
Meyran Kraus with:
Nesting goose =
Sits on one egg. - 3rd place:
View with:
Egomania =
O, me, again!
- 1st place:
- Entertainment Category:
Meyran Kraus with:
Dali's 'The Persistence of Memory' =
His masterpiece of modern style. - Topical Category:
Meyran Kraus with:
Nuclear Iranis ~
can ruin Israel. - Rude Category:
Meyran Kraus with:
A dildo serviced ~
divorced ladies. - Medium Length Category:
nedesto with:
Bessy the old Guernsey told Molly the heifer, "I've been artificially inseminated; it was done only about four hours ago!"
=
"Hogwash!" Molly said acutely, "I don't believe any of it for one minute."
Bessy raised her aged hoof, "It's entirely true - no bull." - Long Category:
Meyran Kraus with:
World's Greatest Drawings
18. The Parnassus
17. Two Sisters (On The Terrace)
16. Adam and Eve
15. Les Demoiselles d'Avignon
14. Starry Night Over the Rhone
13. Allegory of Age Governed by Prudence
12. Burning of the Houses of Parliament
11. The Crucifixion of Saint Peter
10. Diana and Callisto
9. House of Stairs
8. Massacre at Chios
7. Impression, Sunrise
6. Slave Market with the Disappearing Bust of Voltaire
5. Girl With A Pearl Earring
4. Dull Gret (Mad Meg)
3. Night Watch
2. Sistine Chapel Murals
1. Mona Lisa
=
18. Raphael's homage to the poet
17. Renoir's vivid portrait
16. Durer's tale of sin
15. Picasso's astute art twist
14. Van Gogh's nature image
13. Titian's three-headed human
12. Turner's raw fire
11. Caravaggio's essential work
10. Rubens' giant women
9. Escher's visual dementia
8. Delacroix's sad figures
7. Monet's French dawn
6. Dali's optical illusion
5. Vermeer's pretty lass
4. Bruegel's hellish anarchy
3. Rembrandt's play of light and shadow
2. Michelangelo's offering to the pope
1. Leonardo's enigmatic grin. - People's Names Category:
Dharam Khalsa with:
Syrian President Bashar al-Assad =
Sinister and has Arabs paralysed. - Other Names Category:
Larry Brash with:
Old Spice Aftershave =
Splashed it over face. - Anagrammy Challenge Category:
Meyran Kraus with:
Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
=
A tweeter: Typing a million and a half dumb posts in a week to say he has no free time. - Special Category:
- 1st place:
Meyran Kraus with:
[March marks the spring migration of some birds from Africa to Europe. Below, the poem Wild Pigeon is anagrammed into 4 poems following the imaginary route of such a bird.]
Wild Pigeon
Isaac McLellan
The Autumn day is fleck'd with gold,
As slow the twilight sun declines;
The western cloud's encrimson'd fold
With a surpassing beauty shines;
And as the deep'ning shadows creep
Athwart the glimmering landscape's breast,
And o'er the purpling mountains sweep,
The drowsy breezes sink to rest.
The roe buck to his dingle goes,
Where thick the wood its covert throws;
The red stag that had paus'd to drink
Beside the rivulet's plashy brink,
Exhausted flings his dappled side
Along the clear, pellucid tide.
'Tis then the pigeons seek the wood
To roost, a swarming multitude.
Deep in Wisconsin wilderness,
Or forests vast of Michigan,
The bending boughs their bosoms press,
The air their clanging pinions fan.
So great their numbers, hunters say
They bend the bough and break the spray,
And when their frighten'd myriads rise,
'Tis like the thunder of the skies.
Years since in forests of the East
They gather'd to the harvest feast;
They swarm'd by river and by shore,
In vast flocks flew the pastures o'er;
They swept innumerable the plain,
Gleaning the corn-seed and the grain;
Then, winging to some grove their flight,
Sought roosting-places for the night.
When emigration to the West
In eager emulation press'd,
And axe and plough and farmer's toil
Open'd the treasures of new soil;
And million acres of the wheat
Ripen'd in summer's fervid heat,
And bearded rye and yellow corn
Shook their bright tresses in the morn;
Then to those fields and pastures new
These emigrants on pinions flew.
When June with rose-red cheeks aglow
O'er banks wild strawberries doth strew;
When August on the sunny hills
With sweets the luscious blueberry fills,
And o'er the heated pasture pours
The blackberries in honey'd stores,
And ripens on the swinging vine
The grapes, like amethysts that shine--
Then to this ripe, abundant fare,
So sweet, the pigeon-flocks repair,
Sharing the never-cloying feast
Our Maker offers to the guest.
=
Spring Passage of the Turtle Doves
The Temple Mount in Jerusalem, Israel
The highbrowed crowds increasing by the hour
Go by the hundreds to that shrine and gem,
Drawn to the Western Wall's enduring power -
For its sound spell expels the dread in them.
Blessed wishes fill the sky, each word afloat
Where sadness underlines awe-filled devotion;
The trusting monologues within the note
Are means to draft this hidden Hebrew notion:
The anguished theists ask, with bated breath,
If He represses sickness... even death.
Central Athens, Greece
The Zappeion and hallowed Parthenon
Are perfect for a humbled delegation -
The buses keep arriving by the ton,
Amassing as one epic winged migration;
It goes amiss as seasons shift all year
In towns where idle warmth is downright rare,
But yours, O Greece, persists so purely here,
For Athens' gift is sunshine everywhere.
Greek goddesses sit passively, in grace,
To greet the masses praising their rich place.
Cathedral in the town of Assisi, Italy
The town might not be highly known, and yet
The wisest people with a bent for art
Cross lakes and walk with the intent to get
To chaste Assisi's striking depth and heart;
The brushwork of the splendid Giotto there
Intrigues with patterns filled with veneration
And wakes the artists' sudden need of flair -
The naves' mere lushness might prompt more creation.
Above these treats, the sky won't dare to frown;
Like nobles, it shall nurture that prime town.
Luxembourg Gardens in Paris, France
The happy cuddle on one wooden bench
By fetching ponds should often yield romance;
The dusks are sluggish, while the doting French
Press on, subsiding as they end their dance.
Friends cross the paths adorned with cheerful growth
And grasp the fountain's beauty there, in twilight;
Nearby, succumbing to its hold on both,
The lovers' murmurs spur some winning highlight.
Unbroken kisses spark so suddenly
If they are kisses in this garden glee.
The twist: When all of the S's are highlighted in the poem bodies, they depict the protagonist...
The highbrowed crowds increasing by the hour
Go by the hundreds to that shrine and gem,
Drawn to the Western Wall's enduring power -
For its sound spell expels the dread in them.
Blessed wishes fill the sky, each word afloat
Where sadness underlines awe-filled devotion;
The trusting monologues within the note
Are means to draft this hidden Hebrew notion:
The anguished theists ask, with bated breath,
If He represses sickness... even death.
The Zappeion and hallowed Parthenon
Are perfect for a humbled delegation -
The buses keep arriving by the ton,
Amassing as one epic winged migration;
It goes amiss as seasons shift all year
In towns where idle warmth is downright rare,
But yours, O Greece, persists so purely here,
For Athens' gift is sunshine everywhere.
Greek goddesses sit passively, in grace,
To greet the masses praising their rich place.
The town might not be highly known, and yet
The wisest people with a bent for art
Cross lakes and walk with the intent to get
To chaste Assisi's striking depth and heart;
The brushwork of the splendid Giotto there
Intrigues with patterns filled with veneration
And wakes the artists' sudden need of flair -
The naves' mere lushness might prompt more creation.
Above these treats, the sky won't dare to frown;
Like nobles, it shall nurture that prime town.
The happy cuddle on one wooden bench
By fetching ponds should often yield romance;
The dusks are sluggish while the doting French
Press on, subsiding, as they end their dance.
Friends cross the paths adorned with cheerful growth
And grasp the fountain's beauty there, in twilight;
Nearby, succumbing to its hold on both,
The lovers' murmurs spur some winning highlight.
Unbroken kisses spark so suddenly
If they are kisses in this garden glee.
...in motion:
- 2nd place:
Tony Crafter with:
EL PASO
By
Marty Robbins
Out in the West Texas town of El Paso
I fell in love with a Mexican girl.
Night-time would find me in Rosa's cantina;
Music would play and Felina would whirl.
Blacker than night were the eyes of Felina,
Wicked and evil while casting a spell.
My love was deep for this Mexican maiden;
I was in love but in vain, I could tell.
One night a wild young cowboy came in,
Wild as the West Texas wind.
Dashing and daring,
A drink he was sharing
With wicked Felina,
The girl that I loved.
So in anger I
Challenged his right for the love of this maiden.
Down went his hand for the gun that he wore.
My challenge was answered in less than a heart-beat;
The handsome young stranger lay dead on the floor.
Just for a moment I stood there in silence,
Shocked by the foul evil deed I had done.
Many thoughts raced through my mind as I stood there;
I had but one chance and that was to run.
Out through the back door of Rosa's I ran,
Out where the horses were tied.
I caught a good one.
It looked like it could run.
Up on its back
And away I did ride,
Just as fast as I
Could from the West Texas town of El Paso
Out to the bad-lands of New Mexico.
Back in El Paso my life would be worthless.
Everything's gone in life; nothing is left.
It's been so long since I've seen the young maiden
My love is stronger than my fear of death.
I saddled up and away I did go,
Riding alone in the dark.
Maybe tomorrow
A bullet may find me.
Tonight nothing's worse than this
Pain in my heart.
And at last here I
Am on the hill overlooking El Paso;
I can see Rosa's cantina below.
My love is strong and it pushes me onward.
Down off the hill to Felina I go.
Off to my right I see five mounted cowboys;
Off to my left ride a dozen or more.
Shouting and shooting I can't let them catch me.
I have to make it to Rosa's back door.
Something is dreadfully wrong for I feel
A deep burning pain in my side.
Though I am trying
To stay in the saddle,
I'm getting weary,
Unable to ride.
But my love for
Felina is strong and I rise where I've fallen,
Though I am weary I can't stop to rest.
I see the white puff of smoke from the rifle.
I feel the bullet go deep in my chest.
From out of nowhere Felina has found me,
Kissing my cheek as she kneels by my side.
Cradled by two loving arms that I'll die for,
One little kiss and Felina,
Good-bye.
=
EL PUSO
Out in Barns Green down in Horsham, West Sussex,
I had a duel with one ornery gent,
He was the cruel, one 'n' only El Puso
I came intent on a fight to the end.
There in an inn full of hillbilly yokels,
The ale looked like gnat's pee 'n' tasted the same
I arrived early to check on the venue,
Armed, set to kill, in this 'High Noon' endgame.
All of a sudden the door opened wide,
Someone came in from the night,
It was El Puso
Arriving with gusto,
The glint in his eye
Was a knife in my heart.
So I rose from my
Chair and I challenged him: "Show what you've got man,"
Down flew his hand, moving fast as a fox,
Before I knew it he delved in his bum-bag,
Drew out, like lighting... an old Scrabble box.
Just for one moment the whole room fell silent,
All I could hear was the beat of my heart,
Many words flew through my mind as I stood there,
I chose only two and I said them: "Let's start."
Before I knew it a table was cleared,
We both got chairs and sat down,
From my bag I took
My old Scrabble Wordbook,
He snarled, "Best of one."
My reply was a frown.
Then we each chose our
Tiles from the tile-bag, set them on tile-racks,
I looked at them once and got set to attack.
He tossed a coin in the air, and I cried "Tails!"
It came down heads and he sniggered, "First blood,"
He laid his tiles and he made 'FOXED' (for forty)
All I could make with my letters was 'MUD',
As we continued the game got more mean,
Puso played out of his skin,
I was still laggin' 'n'
My brain was flaggin'
While he laid words such as
'FIZGIG' and 'DJINN'.
Then at last I
Withdrew from the tile-bag the letter I longed for,
(Suffice to say, it's the one after 'P')
This only briefly revived my ill-fortune,
I also pulled out five 'I's and a 'V'.
A crowd had gathered, I heard someone giggling,
Puso was now fifty-five points in front,
I notched sixty-four off a great double-triple,
I took the lead, and I heard Puso grunt.
He tagged an 'S' onto 'CIVIC' and made
'CIVICS' to score thirty-two,
Though I kept smilin'
Inside I was rilin',
I now held four 'I's,
Two 'O's and a 'U'.
So in anger I
Voiced my annoyance, changed my f***ing letters,
Effing 'n' blinding so uncivilly,
Then, all in a moment of insanity,
Next thing, he'd finished and beat me by three!
From out of nowhere El Puso has won it,
Funny how fortune can dive in that way
I said, "You've got me, and I have to pay," he said
"Buy me a lager," so I said,
"Okay." - 3rd place:
Mike Keith with:
[In the poem below all three stanzas are mutual anagrams. In addition, the first stanza is a word-length mnemonic for the first 22 digits of the golden ratio, phi (1.618033988749894848204...), the second stanza is a mnemonic for the first 26 digits of e (2.7182818284590452353602874...), and the third stanza gives the first 29 digits of pi (3.1415926535897932384626433832). The usual rule applies - 0 digits are represented by a 10-letter word.]
I marred a groaning silhouette,
saw dim abhorrent freedoms cemented forever,
till blackened paranoia bewitched this shadowed roof,
smashing my despondent soul.
=
In meadows I remember my orations:
a forecast of degraded love,
words cadential proceeding from Hades
to the heart now shrunk,
sublimated in helpless, binding hate.
=
You, a tree, a field overblown in summer,
words and looks gathered, solicited, chanced,
reminders now of the pleasing past
bathed in bright heat and sad memories for me.
- 1st place:
- Awardsmaster's Choice Award for a non-winning anagram:
Ellie Dent with:
Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge =
Such a deft charm: it echoes breeding.
List of all nominated
anagrams for March 2012
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The Anagrammy Awards