1 | Paul Pan | 41 | An equal opportunities employer = I put some inept queer on a payroll! |
2 | Toby Gottfried | 28 | An apple a day keeps the doctor away = So why not add a pear, papaya, leek, etc. ? |
3 | Ellie | 25 | A new laptop = Now at Apple. |
3 | Deano | 25 | A game of Russian Roulette = So am I sure to get an earful? |
5 | Hans-Peter Reich | 22 | The maternity hospital = It has motherly patient. (Awardsmaster's Choice Award) |
6 | Tony Crafter | 20 | The English countryside = Delight on such serenity. |
7 | View | 19 | Arctic expedition = An exotic iced trip. |
8 | Adrian Hickford | 14 | Ordinary seamen = Mariners, one day... |
9 | dranoel ttoille | 12 | Chinook = Coho kin. |
10 | Larry Brash | 11 | Impressionable = Be simple... no airs. |
11 | Dee4j | 10 | Geriatrics = Git care, sir. |
12 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 9 | Antagonisms = Against noms! |
12 | David Bourke | 9 | Dual-personality = Paul Daniels, Tory. |
14 | Zoran Radisavlevic | 8 | The countryside ‡ City sound there. |
15 | Rick | 6 | Tired of lousy? ~ Do it yourself! |
16 | Rosie Perera | 5 | Burst open as ~ bean sprouts. |
17 | steele | 3 | Help, I am dead = Impaled head. |
18 | Mey Kraus | 2 | Inebriated person = Tipsier on a bender. |
19 | aussie battler | 0 | Rude nominations ~ suited a non-minor. |
Total points: | 269 | from 46 votes (DFE factor: 0.413) |
1 | David Bourke | 56 | Wallace and Gromit: The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit = Blast the unwelcome big-eared raw carrot thief! |
2 | Larry Brash | 34 | The Two Ronnies = Two... then one, sir. |
2 | Toby Gottfried | 34 | The American Symphony Orchestra = Harmony may shape their concerts. |
4 | Deano | 33 | Breakdancing = Back in danger. |
5 | Mey Kraus | 29 | Tim Burton's 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' = A terrible candy toothache occurs on that film! |
6 | View | 28 | Motion picture 'A beautiful mind' = Delirium but a fine computation. |
7 | Ellie | 24 | Leo Tolstoy: "War and Peace" = Wordy tale can please, too. |
8 | Tony Crafter | 19 | Beverly Hills Cop = Cleverly hip slob. |
9 | Rosie Perera | 8 | The Forty-Year-Old Virgin = Over thirty, lady foreign. |
10 | Don Rogers | 5 | Long Day's Journey into Night = Join Tyrones' ungodly hating. |
11 | Scott Gardner | 2 | The actor Cary Elwes = O "Westley" character! |
Total points: | 272 | from 46 votes (DFE factor: 0.239) |
1 | Mey Kraus | 64 | The trial of president Saddam Hussein = It sure is hard to defend this man's plea. |
2 | David Bourke | 33 | Margaret Thatcher is now eighty years old = Sad geriatric Tory here. (The ghastly woman!) |
3 | Tony Crafter | 26 | French Connection UK set to drop their slogan = Honest concern or not, I deplore that FCUK sign. |
4 | Scott Gardner | 23 | The Iraqi Constitution = Nation to critique this. |
4 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 23 | Two thousand questions, no answers! = US sons' deaths not news... Iraq: out now! |
6 | Linda Garner | 19 | Hurricane Wilma threatens Florida = Nature's wrath came in, horrified all. |
7 | Deano | 17 | The trial of Saddam Hussein begins = Baghdad's testimonies - his funeral. |
8 | Ellie | 15 | Saddam Hussein, the former Iraqi dictator, ~ and a horrific sadist, made to squirm there. |
9 | Rick | 13 | The Civil Rights Pioneer Rosa Parks = "Grr! I hope I spark historical events!" |
10 | Toby Gottfried | 11 | The Trial of Saddam Hussein = As death itself's around him. |
11 | Larry Brash | 9 | Hurricane Wilma = A cruel whim... rain. |
11 | View | 9 | The Islamic Republic of Pakistan = Brutal shake, panic, misfit police. |
13 | Eric Lancaster | 7 | Sienna Miller's boyfriend = Miseries, for I'll bed nanny! |
Total points: | 269 | from 46 votes (DFE factor: 0.283) |
1 | Mey Kraus | 73 | G.W. Bush, the American president = The man's screwing it up bad here! |
2 | Larry Brash | 33 | Rosa Parks, Mother of the Civil Rights ... = It's her calm move that is provoking t... |
3 | Scott Gardner | 31 | Justice Samuel A. Alito = O, I just emulate Scalia. |
3 | Tony Crafter | 31 | Adolf Eichmann = Nice? No, half-mad. |
5 | Ellie | 21 | Daniel Wroughton Craig: the new James Bond = Now world can judge: I might be another Sean... |
6 | Rick | 19 | Actress Catherine Deneuve = Nude scenes... creative art, eh? |
7 | Toby Gottfried | 18 | Daniel Craig, the new James Bond ~ wanted dear English cinema job. |
8 | View | 12 | Michel Salgado = He'd claim goals. |
8 | David A Green | 12 | Patricia Daniels Cornwell ~ laid scalpel in wet carrion. |
10 | David Bourke | 5 | Daniel Wroughton Craig = Dire actor, now laughing! |
Total points: | 255 | from 44 votes (DFE factor: 0.227) |
1 | David Bourke | 49 | The Medical Research Council = "Ah, sod the mice, I'll cure cancer!" |
2 | View | 35 | Greenwich Station = Whence I got trains. |
3 | Toby Gottfried | 25 | The Hewlett Packard Company = They make that old PC crap new. |
3 | Tony Crafter | 25 | Cheltenham Ladies' College = Gentle academics' hellhole! |
3 | Scott Gardner | 25 | The Republic of Iceland = Can be pitiful cold here. |
6 | Mey Kraus | 21 | The Siberian towns = Snows a bit in there. |
7 | Deano | 15 | The Collins English Dictionary ~ ends "illiteracy in school" thing. |
7 | Rosie Perera | 15 | Ziploc(R) food storage bags and containers = A brand's goal is: "I can protect frozen goods." |
9 | Linda Garner | 9 | Dow Jones Industrial Average = Need new advisor: I lost Jaguar. |
9 | Larry Brash | 9 | The Australian Countryside = Ah... our land is rustic, yet neat. |
11 | Rick | 7 | The Posse Comitatus Act declaration = The act set custom, "A soldier ain't a cop!" |
11 | David A Green | 7 | Windsor Safari Park, St. Leonards Hill = A dark, half-wild lioness roars! Sprint! |
13 | Richard Brodie | 6 | Australian Therapeutic Goods Administration = Aid the drug corporations attain unit sale aims. |
14 | aussie battler | 4 | Licentiate = A nice title. |
Total points: | 252 | from 43 votes (DFE factor: 0.326) |
1 | Mey Kraus | 71 | 'Beyond Multiple Choice: Evaluating Alt... = This guide is likely to be: [ ] A l... |
2 | Tony Crafter | 49 | Tony Blair's MG car crashed in a field a... = When President Bush died, God (from a C... |
3 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 38 | scha·den·freu·de n. Pleasure derived ... = mas·och·ist n. due unto an odd revers... |
4 | David A Green | 24 | The tightrope walker Charles Blondin (J... = Oh, can well get the jitters perched o... |
5 | Larry Brash | 16 | The most serious thing about having a c... = It's a laugh, man! I've got to buy mat... |
6 | View | 12 | Herbert Spencer Time:That which man is ... = In black night, In white light Secon... |
7 | David Bourke | 10 | The sinking of the Argentinian cruiser ... = Thatcher: Her rash, baffling order to ... |
8 | Rosie Perera | 9 | The Posse Comitatus Act of 1878 bans th... = Yes, optimistic Bush tacitly fancies h... |
Total points: | 229 | from 39 votes (DFE factor: 0.205) |
1 | Larry Brash | 60 | After the death of Quasimodo, the bisho... = And the following day, with an unbear... |
2 | Tony Crafter | 51 | "Father, I had sex four times in all wi... = The new priest called on the village ... |
3 | Ellie | 33 | The Holy Bible in only Fifty Words Go... = Overheard joke Poor Adam - bad, mad... |
4 | David Bourke | 27 | We the People of the United States, in o... = In addition, we'll stuff our stomachs... |
5 | Mey Kraus | 24 | The Motion Picture Association of Ameri... = ...But here's an attempt at independe... |
Total points: | 195 | from 33 votes (DFE factor: 0.152) |
1 | Mey Kraus | 67 | The complete list of Shakespeare's plays anagrammed into a sonnet, |
2 | Tony Crafter | 59 | 'IF I ONLY HAD A BRAIN' |
3 | David Bourke | 33 | 'Don't Let's Be Beastly To The Germans' - Noel Coward |
4 | Rosie Perera | 26 | Bridge Over Trouble Water |
Total points: | 185 | from 33 votes (DFE factor: 0.121) |
1 | Mike K | 39 | Serpentiform = Term for penis. |
2 | Tony Crafter | 32 | Modern lesbian = Man's role in bed! |
3 | Mey Kraus | 23 | A lesbian relationship = So, I hear it'll ban a penis! |
4 | aussie battler | 22 | A nude slut ~ undulates. |
5 | Paul Pan | 21 | A barely legal ~ early-age ball. |
6 | Rick | 20 | The trial of Saddam Hussein = Human dirt... die fast asshole. |
7 | Larry Brash | 17 | What is the very hardest part of doing a... = Ah, dear! Why, grafting anchovies to th... |
8 | David Bourke | 13 | Co-Op Tuna Flakes in Brine = Labia, foreskin, open cunt. |
9 | View | 5 | The University of Cambridge = Beauty for 'midnight service'. |
Total points: | 192 | from 35 votes (DFE factor: 0.257) |
Daniel F. Etter Memorial Award Points*
*Adjusted Points = Sum of (Points * 'DFE factor') |
High Standings
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