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Posh!
This is livin', this is style, this is elegance by the mile.
Oh, the posh posh traveling life, the traveling life for me
First cabin and captain's table regal company.
Whenever I'm bored I travel abroad, but ever so properly,
Port out, starboard home, posh with a capital P-O-S-H, posh.
The hands that hold the sceptres, every head that holds a crown,
They'll always give their all for me, they'll never let me down.
I'm on my way to far away - tah tah and toodle-oo!
And fare thee well, and Bon Voyage, arrivederci too!
Oh, the posh posh traveling life, the traveling life for me,
First cabin and captain's table regal company.
Pardon the dust of the upper crust - fetch us a cup of tea,
Port out, starboard home, posh with a capital P-O-S-H, posh.
In every foreign strand I land, the royal trumpets toot me,
The royal welcome mat is out, they twenty-one gun salute me.
But monarchies are constantly commanding me to call,
Last month I missed the Mufti but you can't oblige them all.
Oh the posh posh traveling life, the traveling life for me
Oh rumpety tumpety diddy diddy dee dee dee dee dee.
Oh the posh posh traveling life, the traveling life for me,
First cabin and captain's table regal company.
When I'm at the helm the world's my realm and I do it stylishly,
Port out, starboard home, posh with a capital P-O-S-H,
P-O-S-H, P-O-S-H... posh!
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Posh Spice
If you have got no talent... ahh, this is the life!
- Become a Man Utd footballer's trophy wife!
Release banal records, pose hard, and pout,
Then let what little chest you've got hang out.
I'm HRH Princess Victoria, I'm top totty!
I buy Gucci leather handbags in the Via Condotti.
The Argos shop catalogue to hell be damned -
My Louis Vuitton luggage is monogrammed!
Almost every day I spend shopping;
Love, every so often, transatlantic-hopping,
To help David escape that constant media pressure,
Then home to my classy gaff in Cheshire.
I stroll down the palatial marbled halls,
With handsome David, the perfect husband. ('Goldenballs'.)
I'll show you the very pretty family castle,
(Don't step on the England captain's metatarsal!)
Tell you what I really really want:
My first Number One record. (I have got some front!)
Why's a Caesarian birth preferable? I'll tell you why:
I'm too posh to push that hard, am I!
Every night (pre-recorded) I'd mime Romeo to sleep,
Home with HRH Prince David - his intellect's pretty deep!
From time to time we have both appeared in 'Hello',
A love of materialism both happy to show.
We both have staff to help, Elton he's my best friend.
On my fantastic P.R. firm I have to totally depend.
To what other path, then, could I perhaps aspire?
Heh! Not half bad for a slapper from Hertfordshire!
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