David Bourke

Anagrammy Awards > Literary Archives > David Bourke

Original text in yellow, anagram in pink.

God Save the Queen

God save our gracious Queen,
Long live our noble Queen,
God save the Queen!
Send her victorious,
Happy and glorious,
Long to reign over us,
God save the Queen!

O Lord our God arise,
Scatter our enemies,
And make them fall!
Confound their knavish tricks,
Confuse their politics,
On you our hopes we fix,
God save us all!

Not in this land alone,
But be God's mercies known,
From shore to shore!
Lord make the nations see,
That men should brothers be,
And form one family,
The wide world o'er.

From every latent foe,
From the assassins blow,
God save the Queen!
O'er her thine arm extend,
For Britain's sake defend,
Our mother, prince, and friend,
God save the Queen!

Thy choicest gifts in store,
On her be pleased to pour,
Long may she reign!
May she defend our laws,
And ever give us cause,
To sing with heart and voice,
God save the Queen!

God Help the Queen

Lumbered with Phil The Greek,
Edward's an average geek,
Margaret's "Gorn orf to Mustique",
God help our sovereign Queen!

Anne's looking like a horse,
Queen Mother's on the sauce,
And income tax, of course,
God help the poor Queen!

Andy's a gross smug git,
On the stairs, oh, not corgi shit?
Oh god, hard life, isn't it?
Sorry, Ma'am, Mrs Queen!

Even Windsor burnt to the ground,
Fergie skis every year round,
That goon Charles the love of Camilla found,
End soon for our Queen.

Royals would never once be missed,
Have no reason to even exist,
End soon, costs for the Civil List,
We've no use now for The Queen.

We've the monarchy on the slide,
'Cos ever since she died,
Our fave, Diana's been deified,
Ah, God help us all!

Buck House? A stud-farm shed,
For a family that's too inbred.
But to vote for President Blair instead?
No, never! God save us! I mean...!

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Two versions of a poem by Craig Raine.

ARSEHOLE

It is shy as a gathered eyelet
neatly worked in shrinking violet;
it is the dilating iris, tucked
away, a tightening throb when fucked.

It is a soiled and puckered hem,
the golden treasury's privy purse.
With all the colours of a bruise,
it is the fleck of blood in albumen.

I dreamed your body was an instrument
and this was the worn mouthpiece
to which my breathing lips were bent.

Each note pleaded to love a little longer,
longer, as though it was dying of hunger.
I fed that famished mouth my ambergris.

ODE TO KING RICHARD

Heil Grantham, heil Grantham, burning bright,
To alt.anagrams, be online all night.
Dude, your work is so great, I'd doff my cap,
Compared to thine, my 'grams are like crap.

Indeed, I'd feel that it is wasted time,
To try to top your work sublime.
Tee hee hee! The cleverness with which you write,
Is well-and-truly high out of sight.

Your blue rhymes should be against the law,
But the rest of us, helpless, ache, die, in awe,
Keen inventiveness! Shining, indeed deadly wit!
I ask of Linda, can't she stop you for a bit?

=

CUNT

A big fab hairy muffhole, great furry snatch,
Here! What dashed orifice could your pleasure match?
Ah, see! I'll stroke you, pussy, all night long,
And then, there insert my blood-red dong.

Tush, gash, vagina, beaver, wide wide mott,
Well, I think that thine art kinda hot.
I wish I'd die here within thee, twat, minge, frontbottom,
Me hard, aching balls, see, I'd like to pot 'em.

See ladies, by poets are your praises sung,
In French, Greek, and by my own tongue.
I seek, I worship thee, I'd love to sit,
And I'd stimulate your swelling clit.

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Golden Brown - The Stranglers

Golden brown, texture like sun,
Lays me down, with my mind she runs.
Throughout the night,
No need to fight.
Never a frown with golden brown.

Every time just like the last,
On her ship, tied to the mast.
To distant lands,
Takes both my hands.
Never a frown with golden brown.

Golden brown, finer temptress,
Through the ages she's heading west.
From far away,
Stays for a day.
Never a frown with golden brown.

Never a...never a...
Never a frown with golden, with golden brown.

Gordon Brown - The Strangler

Gordon Brown, tax me, go on!
Take my money - almost all gone!
With New Labour in,
We'll just never win.
Ever a frown, with Gordon Brown.

Every new budget hurts like the last.
Mortgage relief ends very fast.
Fate? That's one in The Eye,
Flush? I'm sunk...high and dry.
Interest rates never down, with Gordon Brown.

Gordon Brown found a temptress,
Wed at last, she in a naff dress.
Shhhhhh! The damned tight-fisted git,
Even spent nowt on it.
Why, he'll never go down, with Sarah Brown.

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The Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I can not change, the Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference.

OK then God, any chance that fiend Gates' Microsoft can get to cure Windows hanging each time that I get the P.C. on-internet, eh? Cheers then, God!

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Updated: May 10, 2016


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