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On the first day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
A partridge in a pear tree.
On the second day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.
On the third day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.
On the fourth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.
On the fifth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.
On the sixth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.
On the seventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.
On the eighth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.
On the ninth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.
On the tenth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Ten lords a-leaping,
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.
On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eleven pipers piping,
Ten lords a-leaping,
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Twelve drummers drumming,
Eleven pipers piping,
Ten lords a-leaping,
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree! |
Dear Vivian,
I'm sending a private note, in person, in thanks for all the stunning gifts you've given me. I'm, as ever, undeserving.
When you said you planned giving me presents in the manner of the song, "Twelve Days of Christmas", I was delighted. I never ever imagined this was meant in a literal sense. I never appreciated you were giving me all the gifts, each day of Christmas, arriving as mentioned in the song.
Final gift count: A massive three hundred and sixty four presents!
Twelve partridges and twelve pear trees:
Partridges are ground birds and were falling from the fruit trees. Fixing the animals to the branches, strung up using garden ties, seemed distressing to the birds. I'm freeing them.
Twenty two turtle doves:
These avians love visiting the pear trees far more than partridges, except living with twenty two of them is noisy. I'll attempt to endure it.
Thirty French hens:
After having done some research, I discovered that "French Hens" never existed. On further inspection, I found they are normal domestic hens wearing amusing small berets.
Thirty six calling birds:
Despite a fondness for bird calls, the noise level from them is downright unnerving, causing the neighbours to complain.
Forty gold rings:
Averaging a pair for each finger and toe!
Forty two geese a-laying:
I'm unsure of eggs laid, given some grand lords and grand ladies (see under) are eating omelettes.
Forty two swans:
These are large, strong, savage, mean animals (aggressive, too). The pool seems like the best natural living place for them.
Forty milking maids:
Actually, I'm rather glad these teenagers managed to forget their cows, as arranged.
Thirty six dancing ladies:
These dancing ladies didn't look as I'd imagined. Several of them informed me they were Pole dancers and Lap dancers. Confusing! They didn't seem to come from Poland or Lapland, as they are rather scantily clad girls.
Thirty springing lords:
More frigging evasive gang I've never met. I'm not really impressed that all these fine chaps are uncrowned royals, except, for example, a man called Lucan.
Twenty two pipers and twelve drummers:
These Indian gentlemen informed me that they are vets from the Second Highlander Pipes and Drums. Performing "Scotland the Brave" seems to the only tune they knew.
And in return,
True everlasting love,
from,
Rene. |
