Anagrammy Awards Results - July, 1999


Here are the results of the July 1999 Anagrammy Awards.

23 voters turned out to select their favourite anagrams. Some
categories were close, but none ended in a tie.


The General Category
John Morahan led this category all the way after picking up the first 3
votes. John, our official Anagrammy checker, has not been amongst the
winners for some while. However, his delightfully simple but very apt
anagram was a popular choice. This is his second Anagrammy, his first
being his first ever posting to alt.anagrams back in October last year.

1st. John Morahan with: 9 votes
Stone age. =
Stage one.

2nd. Mick Tully with: 4 votes
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? =
The dimwits lazily keep heads warm, OK?

3rd. Tom Myers with: 3 votes
Angioplasty. =
It's agony, pal.

The Entertainment Category
Ernesto was the best here and kept a slender lead most of the contest.
A strong finish by Jeff Simpson made it an exciting conclusion.
Ernesto's 7th Anagrammy and he is placed 6th on the All-time Winners
List.

1st. Ernesto Guiraldes with: 7 votes
Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman in "Eyes Wide Shut". =
Audiences saw her nudity. Men liked moist icon.

2nd. Jeff Simpson with: 6 votes
"Animal Farm" by George Orwell. =
Minor war fable? Allegory gem!

3rd. Mey Kraus with: 5 votes
America's Funniest Home Videos. =
'Amateur Comedies On VHS' is fine!

The Topical Category
Letterman's poignant anagram was a big favourite with the voters.
Anagramming can often lead to bitingly satirical results, but this
anagram was very sensitive. Letterman has picked up an Award in the
last four Anagrammies.

1st. Letterman with: 11 votes
A tragedy strikes the Kennedy house again. =
It's a dark sky. The eager young end in the sea.

eq 2nd. Mick Tully with: 4 votes
Belgium National Day. =
I am bigoted, annually.

eq 2nd. Mey Kraus with: 4 votes
The Prime Minister, Ehud Barak. =
Hi, President Mubarak! I'm there!

The Rude Category
This was the most closely fought contest that I have ever seen. After
20 votes, each of the 4 nominees had 5 votes. I received the 21st vote
and thought that I had it won, but 2 votes arrived today both for Jon
Gearhart and he snatched it from under my nose.

1st. Jon Gearhart with: 7 votes
Buster Hymen. =
Enter my bush!

2nd. Larry Brash with: 6 votes
Arseholes. =
He's a loser

eq 3rd. Daniel Fredrick Etter with: 5 votes
Blow Jobs. =
Bob jowls.

eq 3rd.. Mick Tully with: 5 votes
Judicial Judgment. =
Judge: "Jail dim cunt!"

The Spam Category
Long spamagrams have been the winners in the last two months. This
month it was Jon's turn for his second win this month and his 8th
overall.

1st. Jon Gearhart with: 14 votes
Check this out ! Too much fun!! Magic tricks, jokes, photos, recipes,
WAV's, and fun. A lot of fun. See me tie a necktie, one-handed, in one
second, blindfolded. Then, I tear up a newspaper and restore it. I'll
teach you magic. 1000 photos for wallpaper. Free slideshow programs.
A LOT of recipes. A ton of really cool helpful links of all types. =
We use spam to amuse us. I'll confess, I have loads of fun getting
cocky spam accounts killed off. Please remit an appropriate fee
[$1000] ASAP to: Jon Gearhart's recent address--no phone calls.
You'll be shipped out a hot, poop-like concoction within like a week
as reminder. Hurry! Don't elect to hold off or flinch--the offer will
end.

2nd. Jessica Arts with: 6 votes
T E S T I M O N I A L S. =
So lame, isn't it?

3rd. Larry Brash with: 2 votes
Super Powerful & Fast Online Searching Tool! =
Shun us! We'll rearrange off-topic post; no lie!

The Long Category
Long Category and the name Brodie are usually found in the same
sentence. This month was no exception. He has won 6 of the 7 Long
Category contests this year.

1st. Richard Brodie with: 12 votes
Question: Why did the blonde think she was so smart when it took her
six months to assemble a jigsaw puzzle with only seven pieces? Answer:
Because on the box it said "Two to four years"! =
Want to hear feminine joke? No? Well too bad! So, I saw very sexy,
ditzy broad wax eloquent about prowess, but she's not the Whiz Girl she
thinks she is. No Ms. Wise, she's a most pathetic dunce.

eq 2nd. Dan Fortier with: 5 votes
North Ireland government proposal is decried by the Unionists. =
Ulster Party ponders decision , vote "No sir!"; bother him in England.

eq 2nd. Ernesto Guiraldes with: 5 votes
Gene Kelly, Nina Foch and Oscar Levant in "An American in Paris". =
"Singin' in the Rain" leadin' man love Caron. France: a Yank's place!

The Name Category
Nice to see one of our new members get up and win with a clever
anagram. This was a close event as the results below will show. Well
done, Melody.

1st. Melody Jonak with: 6 votes
David Lee Roth. =
A red hot devil.

eq 2nd. Wayne Baisley with: 4 votes
Leni Riefenstahl. =
The Infernal Lies.

eq 2nd. Larry Brash with: 4 votes
John Michael Keis. =
Inhale jism? Choke!

eq 2nd. Janet Muggeridge with: 4 votes
Samuel Taylor Coleridge. =
Lo, I am "Old Tar Curse" elegy.

The Place Names Category
Another quite close category. "Mr Consistency", Tom Myers, is a regular
winner, rarely missing out on at least one category win each month. His
13th win and he remains 4th in the All-time List.

1st. Tom Myers with: 7 votes
Yosemite. =
O my! See it!

eq 2nd. Janet Muggeridge with: 5 votes
The Eiffel Tower. =
O feet! Where lift?!

eq 2nd. Sean B. with: 5 votes
Drug Enforcement Administration. =
Freedom contaminating intruders.

The Anagram Set Category
Richard had virtually no competition here. His 28th Anagrammy.

1st. Richard Brodie with: 17 votes
He that justifieth the wicked,
and he that condemneth the just,
even they both are abomination to the LORD. =
Doth not the Jew tend to hate the Arab,
and the Limey oft evoke Irish hate?
Hatch not then the dumb injustice. =
The Serb itcheth to hurt the Bosnian,
and the holy jihad venom attacketh the Jew.
Oh! Time-out! Find a detente! =
It is the race of the black man that they jeered.
Oh! the hate! Thumbs down!
Then join united to hand it the veto.

2nd. Ernesto Guiraldes with: 3 votes
Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman in "Eyes Wide Shut". =
Moralist whined; nude maid in key scene is cut. O!
His cock: unseen. Nudity's eliminated. Media row.
Male nudity diminished (wear suit). No cock seen.
Moralist audiences whined. One key mind is cut.
Hi. Wee, timid minority nuked scandalous scene.

The Special Category
The brilliantly high standard continued in this category and the first
three all deserved their Anagrammy. This was Mike's 4th win (all in
this category); Jon's 9th win (moving him to number 5 in the All-time
List); and Richard's 29th win (and remains easily the top of the
All-time List)

1st. Mike Keith with: 8 votes
The first text in this anagram set is Shakespeare's sonnet #60.
[snip]

2nd. Richard Brodie with: 7 votes
Bill of Rights
[snip]

3rd. Jon Gearhart with: 3 votes
IMAGINE - John Lennon
[snip]

The Awardsmaster's Choice Award (for a non-winning anagram).

There were many good ones to choose from here. I picked one of Mey
Kraus's gems. He has one day leave forom his Army Training and manages
to post several nomination standard anagrams. Amazing. This one was not
far off winning the closely fought Entertainment Category. His 18th win
kept his position at 3rd in the All-time List secure.

Mey Kraus with: 5
America's Funniest Home Videos. =
'Amateur Comedies On VHS' is fine!


Updated: May 10, 2016


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