Meyran Kraus

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Original text in yellow, anagram in pink.

Shakespeare's 117th sonnet anagrammed into three less-than-serious poetic renditions of famous texts by the bard.

Accuse me thus, that I have scanted all,
Wherein I should your great deserts repay,
Forgot upon your dearest love to call,
Whereto all bonds do tie me day by day,
That I have frequent been with unknown minds,
And given to time your own dear-purchased right,
That I have hoisted sail to all the winds
Which should transport me farthest from your sight.
Book both my wilfulness and errors down,
And on just proof surmise, accumulate,
Bring me within the level of your frown,
But shoot not at me in your wakened hate:
Since my appeal says I did strive to prove
The constancy and virtue of your love.

Try as you may, you couldn't say Prince Hamlet's life is dull -
His dad's an apparition and his best friend is a skull;
His mom's quite hot for uncle Claud, who'd slain King for a throne -
Our witty prince laid out a stunt to sway him to atone;
An object of our shy man's love believes that he's gone mad
(That may be fact, too - he cut twenty-four times through her dad);
She dove to drown; her brother frowned and leapt up to assault,
While uncle poured tart venom into everybody's malt.
When I've arrived, not one survived - which truly caused great woe...
The very morning after, they were booked on Springer's show!

One card for Lear: "Hey father dear! How are you? Sure, I'm fine;
This room's quite standard, but I have to hunch to print these lines.
I should have known these batty crones might try that sort of plot;
Remember when they once 'forgot' me in that parking lot?...
But you dispensed *my* dowery's pence to those two vultures' claws?
That is unfair - just sandbagged for your 'Love Unvalued' laws;
If vacuous, this crown's no use and Fool could have it too...
I'd rather break and starve here, in this damp-crypt with no view!
No more to add. I love you, dad, and truly wish you well;
Stop by and see me later - I am hangin' in my cell!"

The name's Macbeth - once called 'Lord Death', now as 'Unlucky Mac'...
I was all truth and virtue till I came upon those quacks;
That group of three - with 'witchery', my future they portrayed:
"You, oh Scotch valiant warrior, shall be a king some day"...
I set out to assign it true, but that just went downhill:
That nervous envy fouled my soul, ghosts ruined every meal;
Harsh bit of stain warped poor wife's brain, our triumph felt inane,
A further round of coven's voodoo proved to be in vain;
My lady died, the woods did stride - then things got even worse...
No wonder no-one says my name before this play's rehearsed!

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An excerpt from "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" anagrammed into a poem written in its spirit. Can you find all 6 elements hidden in the anagram that relate to its subject?

(A small bit from Lewis Carroll's 'Alice's Adventures in Wonderland', Chapter VIII)

When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was surprised to find quite a large crowd collected round it: there was a dispute going on between the executioner, the King, and the Queen, who were all talking at once, while all the rest were quite silent, and looked very uncomfortable.

The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed to by all three to settle the question, and they repeated their arguments to her, though, as they all spoke at once, she found it very hard indeed to make out exactly what they said.

The executioner's argument was, that you couldn't cut off a head unless there was a body to cut it off from: that he had never had to do such a thing before, and he wasn't going to begin at HIS time of life.

The King's argument was, that anything that had a head could be beheaded, and that you weren't to talk nonsense.

The Queen's argument was, that if something wasn't done about it in less than no time she'd have everybody executed, all round. (It was this last remark that had made the whole party look so grave and anxious.)

Hidden Elements of Six White Rabbits

At these unsafe and troubled times, the antidote was clear -
"Long 'grams take but a sec," I laughed, then typed the text shown here.
It vexed me, though, that Wonderland's mad detail and technique
Could sway and overall affect the phrasing, so to speak,
Especially 'cause I lace a 'gram with unexpected thoughts;
When crafted art turns into rant, the value equals naught.
I'd hate to see an error; like the person that misstated
A 'weekend's date' as 'weakened state' (although they *are* related);
Like feathered birds that dream not of an ANT but of a TAN
Or "quote unquote' not matched, or a canal without a plan...
This hastened me to bandy things that I have got to query:
Do keyholes open keys or doors? Is there a 'stranglecherry'?
When both my index fingers touch, which one is feeling which?
Can green be red, or even blue? ? Would someone note the switch?
Are you askew? Should I ask *you*? Oh please, you have to tell:
Would this odd song improve if it was written thgir ot tfel?
And if that honed this anagram and it would be much better,
Will anyone call me a cheat were I to change a lettev?

Click here for the solution

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Whatever caused Richard Cory's death? The mystery puzzled many, captivated by Robinson's poem... Below it are 3 anagrammed testimonies, attempting to crack this cryptic case.

Edwin Arlington Robinson
Richard Cory

Whenever Richard Cory went down town,
We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean favored, and imperially slim.

And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
"Good-morning," and he glittered when he walked.

And he was rich - yes, richer than a king -
And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine, we thought he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.

So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.

Wanda Crown-Cory
Sweet Amour Haunting The Heart

When my man traced his early years to me -
A gangly orphan; limping, yet strong-willed -
His frank words snared me so compellingly,
I knew he was the one, and know it still.

He never bragged about the wealth he had,
He handed hungry people bread and whey;
Such warm romancer and such perfect lad...
Then it unravelled, one horrific day.

He thought it queer I kept the surname Crown;
He said I loved another - I did not! -
We had a row; and when I went downtown,
He made me widow with that single shot.

'Twas real, no other lived which I adored;
But Luck and Irony must be enlaced,
As one week later, I have fallen for
A man which deals with my sweet darling's case...

Raymond Chandler
Crime Plot: Gumshoe's Opinion

I knew it would be hard when I was called;
He was no God, as all had him portrayed;
I watched the wooden man, uniquely sprawled,
The wall behind him sprayed with matter grey.

Enhancing hangover, I scanned the scene:
Gun near wrong hand; an awkward angle, too.
I knew the damn ordeal was far from clean,
And had a hunch the widow also knew...

Emotion as her weapon, she was cruel;
That weeper changed her story left and right.
And yet, I do admit I bent the rules
When I made love to her that very night...

When they will lower Cory to the grave
And rumor he has taken his own life,
Her secret will stay tucked, as I'm enslaved:
Not suicide - but murder, by the wife!

R. Cory
Hark Now, Here's The Truth

My parents howled with woe when I was born,
When my uneven small legs met their glance;
And when at pre-school, children, armed with scorn,
Did laugh at the queer, awkward way I pranced.

It all changed when my parents, one clear day,
Awakened to a lethal chainsaw's hum...
All bought my lie: "The killer got away",
And I inherited the whole damn sum!

I had a leg stretched, married Wanda Crown,
Then got my own Loaves Industries wide-spread
(Although, whenever noone was around -
Oh, trust me, pal - I spat in every bread).

Then, when I heard the wife's caboose is manned,
I waited for her eagerly, gun cocked...
And if it hadn't gone off in my hand,
I would've shot down the entire block!

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Updated: May 10, 2016


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