Meyran Kraus

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Original text in yellow, anagram in pink.

A poem segment anagrammed into a sonnet about the birth of an idea, in which the poem's body is shaped like a pregnant belly and "carries" another relevant poem (by Emily Dickinson)

The Anne Bradstreet poem "The Author to her Book" (the first verses):

Thou ill-formed offspring of my feeble brain,
Who after birth did'st by my side remain,
Till snatcht from thence by friends, less wise than true,
Who thee abroad exposed to public view,
Made thee in rags, halting to th' press to trudge,
Where errors were not lessened (all may judge).
At thy return my blushing was not small,
My rambling brat (in print) should mother call.
I cast thee by as one unfit for light,
Thy visage was so irksome in my sight,
Yet being mine own, at length affection would
Thy blemishes amend, if so I could.

Newborn of a Sleepy Poet

My memory reshuffles things at night.
They frolic, keenly resurrected there;
Few former hours all convene in flight,
To form all complex dreams and gossamer.
Then, from this turbulent cerebral storm
One muted, subtle thought is freshly born
But if I fail to give this shape and form,
This thing without a word is dead by morn!
What's mightier, when it is said and done?
Not shaky swords, some say; it is the pen.
The scant gleam? I say it just had begun:
When scribbled, it begins to live again.
My lettered baby born that day will be
The poem written here for all to see.

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The anagram has an acrostic constraint in every 2nd letter, specifying the length of the war as of June 2010.

Our 'prentice Tom may now refuse
To wipe his scoundrel Master's shoes,
For now he's free to sing and play
Over the hills and far away.

Over the hills and o'er the Main,
To Flanders, Portugal and Spain,
The queen commands and we'll obey
Over the hills and far away.

We all shall lead more happy lives
By getting rid of brats and wives
That scold and brawl both night and day -
Over the hills and far away.

Over the hills and o'er the Main,
To Flanders, Portugal and Spain,
The queen commands and we'll obey
Over the hills and far away.

Courage, boys, 'tis one to ten,
But we return all gentlemen.
All gentlemen as well as they,
Over the hills and far away.

Over the hills and o'er the Main,
To Flanders, Portugal and Spain,
The queen commands and we'll obey
Over the hills and far away.

The Infantry Song from the Iraq war

As the morning rays unveil the plains,
We travel on Iraq's terrain.
Avoiding death is now our chore
Because we are all men of war.

On the route-march, one and all,
By Basra, Hit and Tell Harmal,
We hope the heavy stride and roar
May drive off any sign of war.

Around a mosque, the squad convenes,
Assigning roles to all thirteen;
Patrols in teams of two or four
Enhance the deadly dread of war.

Advancing gravely, one and all,
Atop the hills and cliffs so tall,
The decent members of the corps
Pray only to the gods of war.

Deep in the valley, shots speed by;
We grab our guns and bullets fly.
Amid the flames here, men implore
To finally end the lengthy war...

And we shall land then, one and all,
At Memphis, Denver and St. Paul;
The wives shall hug us by the door
As we'll all bid farewell to war.

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Here's the Beatles song anagrammed into an eight-lines song detailing Paul's eight correct World Cup predictions from the Germans' POV, in a *very rudimentary* shape of a head an eight tentacles.

Octopus's Garden

I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus's garden in the shade
He'd let us in, knows where we've been
In his octopus's garden in the shade

I'd ask my friends to come and see
An octopus's garden with me
I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus's garden in the shade

We would be warm below the storm
In our little hideaway beneath the waves
Resting our head on the sea bed
In an octopus's garden near a cave

We would sing and dance around
Because we know we can't be found
I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus's garden in the shade

We would shout and swim about
The coral that lies beneath the waves
(Lies beneath the ocean waves)
Oh what joy for every girl and boy
Knowing they're happy and they're safe
(Happy and they're safe)

We would be so happy you and me
No one there to tell us what to do
I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus's garden with you
In an octopus's garden with you
In an octopus's garden with you

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As someone who's been forwarded a great deal of these, here is my tribute to almost every viral Youtube video up to now, to the beat of "We Didn't Start The Fire".
Warning: Some of these are NSFW (the 2G1C link is just a reaction video, though). Also, do NOT click all or most of these at one sitting if you value your sanity!

"We Didn't Start the Fire"
By Billy Joel

Harry Truman, Doris Day
Red China, Johnnie Ray
South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon
Studebaker, television
North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe

Rosenbergs, H-Bomb,
Sugar Ray, Panmunjom
Brando, "The King and I"
And "The Catcher in the Rye"

Eisenhower, vaccine
England's got a new queen
Marciano, Liberace
Santayana - Goodbye

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

Josef Stalin, Malenkov
Nasser and Prokofiev
Rockefeller, Campanella, Communist Bloc

Roy Cohn, Juan Peron,
Toscanini, dacron
Dien Bien Phu falls, "Rock Around the Clock"

Einstein, James Dean,
Brooklyn's got a winning team
Davy Crockett, "Peter Pan"
Elvis Presley, Disneyland

Bardot, Budapest
Alabama, Khrushchev
Princess Grace, "Peyton Place"
Trouble in the Suez

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

Little Rock, Pasternak
Mickey Mantle, Kerouac
Sputnik, Zhou En-Lai
"Bridge on the River Kwai"

Lebanon, Charles de Gaulle,
California baseball
Starkweather, homicide,
Children of thalidomide

Buddy Holly, "Ben-Hur"
Space monkey, Mafia
Hula Hoops, Castro
Edsel is a no go

U2, Syngman Rhee,
Payola and Kennedy
Chubby Checker, "Psycho"
Belgians in the Congo

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

Hemingway, Eichmann,
"Stranger in a Strange Land"
Dylan, Berlin
Bay of Pigs Invasion

"Lawrence of Arabia"
British Beatlemania
Ole Miss, John Glenn
Liston beats Patterson

Pope Paul, Malcolm X
British politician sex
JFK, blown away
What else do I have to say?

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

Birth control, Ho Chi Minh
Richard Nixon back again
Moonshot, Woodstock
Watergate, punk rock

Begin, Reagan, Palestine
Terror on the airline
Ayatollah's in Iran
Russians in Afghanistan

"Wheel of Fortune" , Sally Ride
Heavy metal, suicide
Foreign debts, homeless vets
AIDS, Crack, Bernie Goetz

Hypodermics on the shore
China's under martial law
Rock and Roller Cola Wars
I can't take it anymore!

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
But when we are gone
Will it still burn on, and on, and on, and on...

"Relentless Youtube Clicking"
By a World Wide Web fan

David After Dentist,
Achmed is a terrorist,
Sneezing Panda
, Kruger fight,
Boom there goes the dynamite.

JK Wedding Entrance,
Evolution of Dance,
Two Girls One Cup,
Silly Bizkit waking up.

Leeroy Jenkins, Auto-Tune,
T-Shirt Record, Beaker croons,
Thriller in Manila rocks
And my wiener in a box.

Arthur Fonzarelli clones,
Britney Spears? Leave her alone!
Keyboard Cat, Chocolate Rain,
Charlie bit me yet again!

I'd like another video;
Something worth exploring
Since my job is boring.
I'd like another video,
Since I'm weird and slobbish
And I'll scoff at rubbish.

Mentos in Diet Coke,
Rubik's Cube and Screamer joke,
Potter Puppets
, Honda Cog
And Dramatic Prairie Dog.

Piano Stairs, Flash Mob song,
Safety lesson gone wrong,
Bill O'Reilly Rickroll'd
,
Online surfers getting old.

Lego printer, Unicorn,
'Screw United Airlines' scorn,
'Shining' bits, yet with cheer,
African reunion tears.

Hidden Horse, Lengthy prank,
Cringe at awkward 'One Bank',
Bitten crotch, Schnappi chant
And an incoherent rant.

Ask A Ninja, "Bree" lies,
Double Rainbow, Oprah dies,
Facial electricity,
Techno eccentricity...

Send me another video;
One that's damn exciting
With atrocious lighting.
Send me another video;
One that's really witty
(or just stars a kitty!)

Daft Hands, Tron, Eduard Khil,
'OK Go' with treadmills,
Susan Boyle, Nunchucks Pro,
Shoes and Please Don't Tase Me Bro.

Hungry Raptor, Lip Dub,
Whistle Tips with Bubb Rubb,
Angered Winnebago Man
And this crying Bieber fan.

Critter in the weathercast,
Benny Hill Prawn running fast,
JibJab, Sleepwalk, DUI
And that Numa Numa Guy.

Wow can sell? Hitler yells?
What What?
What the hell?
Where is Matt?
Will it blend?
When will this annoyance end?!

I want another video,
Though tomorrow's dawning
And I'm really yawning.
I want another video,
Though it got me fired
And I'm stiff and tired.

Tunak Tunak, Windows Tricks,
Michael Jackson's clone mix,
Tillman always rides the best,
Janice and Awareness Test.

Free Hugs, Buying beer,
Noah photographed for years,
One Bad Day, Three big falls
And an animated wall.

Science-tainment, Wii Fit,
Yatta is a catchy hit
,
Handwash error, News Fail,
Fred annoys and Bits of Whale.

Talented at parkour,
New Nintendo 64,
Certain eerie spectacles
And eight little tentacles.

Angry boy, Obama Girl,
Star Wars Kid's lightsaber twirl,
Tiny Tots and Baby Laugh -
No more clips, I had enough!

Don't want another video,
But I'm not a quitter -
I need stuff for Twitter.
Can't watch another video
But they'll never end -
Here's a new one from my friend...

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An anagram of Sonnet 30 into a poem to Mick Tully, who died in August 2010.

Sonnet Thirty
When to the sessions of sweet silent thought
I summon up remembrance of things past,
I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought,
And with old woes new wail my dear time's waste:
Then can I drown an eye, unused to flow,
For precious friends hid in death's dateless night,
And weep afresh love's long since cancell'd woe,
And moan the expense of many a vanish'd sight:
Then can I grieve at grievances foregone,
And heavily from woe to woe tell o'er
The sad account of fore-bemoaned moan,
Which I new pay as if not paid before.
But if the while I think on thee, dear friend,
All losses are restored and sorrows end.

My Final Answer To My Friends
I, on the edge of a supernal night,
Can't fathom why these relatives and friends
Had wept and wondered how can someone end,
And asked if me I've seen some giant lights...
Essentially, I scoff at this exchange.
Love's peaceful force and faith kept me content;
Ten thousand anagrams I wrote and sent,
Until no words were there to rearrange.
Life was these lights - so, on this heavy note,
Life never ends for someone who is whole;
You only reach a point where life's too numb.
Right now, I wish I'd chased that one big goal;
I wish I had... but now, it's so remote.
Perhaps, for once, I'd lie down and succumb.

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Another anagram dedicated to Mick Tully.

Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake,
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Keeping vigil on the night of a wake

Us peers and kin and friendly folk
Have rendezvoused to praise this bloke
And yet, it's quite the downward slope
For all the grief this might evoke.

The key is not to weep and mope
If we are hungering to cope;
We'd sip some beers and have some fun -
He'd like it, too (or so we hope).

And so, we hear the stories spun
Of who he was or what he's done,
Yet know his fable as a whole
Might not be known to anyone.

The heavy loss might take its toll,
Yet we should remedy this hole;
We raise some pints to bless his soul,
We raise some pints to bless his soul.

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The Keats sonnet is anagrammed into 4 short poems about the 4 seasons that also contain an acrostic constraint.

"The Human Seasons" (a sonnet written by John Keats)
Four Seasons fill the measure of the year;
There are four seasons in the mind of man:
He has his lusty Spring, when fancy clear
Takes in all beauty with an easy span:
He has his Summer, when luxuriously
Spring's honey'd cud of youthful thought he loves
To ruminate, and by such dreaming high
Is nearest unto heaven: quiet coves
His soul has in its Autumn, when his wings
He furleth close; contented so to look
On mists in idleness - to let fair things
Pass by unheeded as a threshold brook.
He has his Winter too of pale misfeature,
Or else he would forego his mortal nature.

                                    my blissful murmured rhymes
                                    hail August's joyful noons;
                                    how sad to think these times
                                    shall have to die so soon!
                                    the sunshine's sheen of gold
                                    shall heat us in the cold.
shy heathers in a field                                                    a gale across the sea
provoke a tune of larks,                                             upsets this quaint milieu,
rehashing songs they trilled                                              but I'm full of esprit
in any chosen park.                                                     when I sit here with you;
no one can hush these sounds:                                 the weather's not too grim
gay March's wealths abound.                                        for penning you a hymn.
                                    each new, obnoxious rain
                                    fell heavier, it seems,
                                    yet none of these are banes,
                                    as Nature has a scheme:
                                    these hints of future fruits
                                    now dawn in nurtured roots.

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Elvis Presley's "Yoga Is as Yoga Does"
(written by Gerald Nelson and Fred Burch)

Well, I can see that you and yoga will never do...

Yoga is as yoga does, there's no in-between,
You're either with it on the ball or you've blown the scene.
I can see, lookin' at you, you just can't get settled...
How can I even move, twisted like a pretzel!

CHORUS:
Yoga is as yoga does, there's no in-between,
You're either with it all the way or you've blown the scene...
Or you've blown the scene!

Come on, come on, untwist my legs, pull my arms a lot...
How did I get so tied up in this yoga knot?
You tell me just how I can take this yoga serious,
When all it ever gives to me is a pain in my posteriors!

CHORUS

Stand upside down on your head, feet against the wall,
A simple yoga exercise done by one and all.
Now cross your eyes and hold your breath, look just like a clown...
Yoga's sure to catch you if you come falling down!

CHORUS

No, you didn't have one joint too many (though I wonder what The King had been smoking years ago). You see, you've stumbled on an actual Elvis song about yoga, and yes, it is Elvis crooning these incredulously silly lyrics of Dr. Seuss-like surrealism, trying to rhyme "settled" with "pretzel" (?!) and generally confusing yoga with a slow means of torture... like the song.

Now, in case you want to see it with your own eyes, all you need to do is to go to www.youtube.com and type "Elvis Presley + Yoga" in the search box. You would see not only the song but also see a clip from the 1967 movie "Easy Come, Easy Go" where our boy slowly coos these vacant lines in a duet with a creepy old crone while posing in eerie black aerobic clothes that would even make Olivia Newton John raise her eyebrow.

A decade later, this cool dude passed away on the toilet. He was surely just trying a crane pose!

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Updated: May 10, 2016


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