Anagrammy Placegetters for June 2006
All the highly-placed anagrams from the June 2006 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Dean Mayer with:
'Slices of bread' ~
describes loaf.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Professional lion tamer =
One's in peril of a lost arm.
3rd - Ellie Dent with:
The shoe lover =
Hot over heels?
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - Scott Gardner with:
Rembrandt, "The Anatomy Lesson of Dr. Nicolaes Tulp" =
Smart men of Holland study inert corpse on a table.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Leonardo da Vinci's "The Last Supper" =
Lord Savior and pupils at the scene.
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Milton's 'Paradise Regained'=
Serial poem deriding Satan.
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Iranians' nuclear weapons =
I can see another war in US plan.
2nd - View with:
Christians, Muslims and the Jews =
Jerusalem stands within schism.
3rd - ofap with:
Abu Musab al-Zarqawi terminated =
I'm amazed at war result in Baquba.
THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY
1st - David Bourke with:
Miss Ann Coulter =
Nastier columns
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The former president Saddam Hussein =
Punish the arrested man for misdeeds.
3rd - Scott Gardner with:
Saint Catherine =
A Christian teen
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Toby Gottfried with:
The American Dental Association =
To attain each smile and no caries.
2nd - Ellie Dent with:
The National Pollen and Aerobiology Research Unit ~
are ideally able to help a running nose, or an itch, too.
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
England's Manchester International Airport =
It costs an arm and leg on an internal trip here.
THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Michael Gerson, top speech-writer to president Bush for years, is leaving the administration =
Having inspected that report, I am basically surprised! Someone *wrote* these inferior things?!
2nd - Ellie Dent with:
'Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte' ('Un dimanche aprés-midi ‡ l'Ile de la Grande Jatte') =
Pointillism as an art: an idea of one talented Frenchman, Seurat, and adjudged a real delight. Enjoy!
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Motion picture "The Da Vinci Code"'s mauled by negative critics =
Intrepid, comic-cut academics investigate body in The Louvre.
THE AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY
1st - Richard Grantham with:
The World Cup Finals in Germany =
England fail, country whimpers.
2nd - Rick Rothstein with:
The World Cup finals in Germany =
France may win during hot spell.
3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
The World Cup Finals in Germany=
Germans would play French in it.
THE AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY
eq.1st - Larry Brash with:
The World Cup Finals in Germany =
Crushing win led from a penalty.
eq.1st - Paul Pan with:
The World Cup finals in Germany =
Champions win, feel truly grand!
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The World Cup Finals in Germany =
Nap? Screw? Only during halftime!
THE LONG CATEGORY
1st - Larry Brash with:
Two hunters are out in the woods in New Jersey when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
=
New research into the psychology of humour has happened to show us that the joke, once assessed as the world's funniest, was created by the zany comedian, Spike Milligan, and was used in the 1951 Goons Show.
The sketch (replayed here, now somehow set in the USA), which in its heyday starred the legendary actor Peter Sellers and Michael Bentine, has, I hope, remained one of the best gags ever.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
A man lives on the 10th floor of his apartment building. Every single day he takes the elevator to go down to the ground floor and goes to work. When he returns, he takes the elevator to the 7th floor and walks the remainder of the trip up the stairs, but if it is a rainy day, he proceeds to ride it all the way up. He doesn't like walking, and there is definitely nothing wrong with his mind or the elevator. Can you conclude why he does it?
[ANSWER]
This man is a dwarf and simply can't reach his desired button. If it's raining he has an umbrella and uses it to reach his floor number.
=
Officers find a short man hanging in a large, entirely empty room that's locked from the inside, and there's a puddle of water under the poor person's feet. Naturally, they believe it's a murder, observing that since the noose is too high to reach and it's a rainy day, the puddle is where the assailant stood and this murderer had to retreat through the window. However, an astute rookie thinks this isn't a murder at all but really an inventive suicide. Why would he think that?
[ANSWER]
The poor fellow took his own life by hanging himself while standing on a block of ice.
The sketch (replayed here, now somehow set in the USA), which in its heyday starred the legendary actor Peter Sellers and Michael Bentine, has, I hope, remained one of the best gags ever.
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
A man came home from work, plopped himself down on his favorite couch, turned on the TV, and said to his wife,
"Hurry up! Bring me a cold beer before it starts".
She looked a little surprised, but got him a cold beer.
When he finished it, he said, "Come on, bring me another. It's going to start."
This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer.
When it was gone, he said, "Another beer NOW, before it starts."
The wife blew her top, "That’s it! You bastard! You come
in here, crash your fat, pig's ass down, don't even say
anything to me and then expect me to run around like your
pub-slave. Haven't you noticed that I cook and clean and
wash and iron all day long?"
The husband groaned. "Oh hell, it's started.
=
I have been the victim of a hellish robbery while shopping and it could happen to you.
Two glamorous young women came over to the car when I was putting the goods in and began to clean the windscreen, their lush, alluring breasts bobbling about in their T-shirts. When I offered them a tip, they said no, but asked for a ride to another supermarket.
I agreed and they got in the back, but soon started kissing and having amorous sex with each other. Then one of them climbed over into the front and (horror!) performed fellatio on me! Hell, I was so distracted I did not see the other one rob my wallet.
This shameful scam took place on Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday - BE WARNED!
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Wilfred Owen's Anthem for Doomed Youth
2nd - David Bourke with:
=
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Asterisks and Ampersands
THE RUDE CATEGORY
1st - Paul Pan with:
Penis reduction =
cut in one's pride.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
A shirt's wet? =
Saw her tits!
3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
A pleasing shape =
Appealing ass, eh?
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