Long Anagram by James H. Young

The 100 Questions Used by the United States Immigration and Naturalization Service Examiners in Citizenship Test

  1. What are the colors of our flag?
  2. How many stars are there in our flag?
  3. What color are the stars on our flag?
  4. What do the stars on the flag mean?
  5. How many stripes are there in the flag?
  6. What color are the stripes?
  7. What do the stripes on the flag mean?
  8. How many states are there in the Union?
  9. What is the 4th of July?
  10. What is the date of Independence Day?
  11. Independence from whom?
  12. What country did we fight during the Revolutionary War?
  13. Who was the first President of the United States?
  14. Who is the President of the United States today?
  15. Who is the vice-president of the United States today?
  16. Who elects the President of the United States?
  17. Who becomes President of the United States if the President should die?
  18. For how long do we elect the President?
  19. What is the Constitution?
  20. Can the Constitution be changed?
  21. What do we call a change to the Constitution?
  22. How many changes or amendments are there to the Constitution?
  23. How many branches are there in our government?
  24. What are the three branches of our government?
  25. What is the legislative branch of our government?
  26. Who makes the laws in the United States?
  27. What is the Congress?
  28. What are the duties of Congress?
  29. Who elects the Congress?
  30. How many senators are there in Congress?
  31. Can you name the two senators from your state?
  32. For how long do we elect each senator?
  33. How many representatives are there in Congress?
  34. For how long do we elect the representatives?
  35. What is the executive branch of our government?
  36. What is the judiciary branch of our government?
  37. What are the duties of the Supreme Court?
  38. What is the supreme court law of the United States?
  39. What is the Bill of Rights?
  40. What is the capital of your state?
  41. Who is the current governor of your state?
  42. Who becomes President of the United States if the President and the vice-president should die?
  43. Who is the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court?
  44. Can you name thirteen original states?
  45. Who said, "Give me liberty or give me death."?
  46. Which countries were our enemies during World War II?
  47. What are the 49th and 50th states of the Union?
  48. How many terms can the President serve?
  49. Who was Martin Luther King, Jr.?
  50. Who is the head of your local government?
  51. According to the Constitution, a person must meet certain requirements in order to be eligible to become President. Name one of these requirements.
  52. Why are there 100 Senators in the Senate?
  53. Who selects the Supreme Court justice?
  54. How many Supreme Court justice are there?
  55. Why did the Pilgrims come to America?
  56. What is the head executive of a state government called?
  57. What is the head executive of a city government called?
  58. What holiday was celebrated for the first time by the Americans colonists?
  59. Who was the main writer of the Declaration of Independence?
  60. When was the Declaration of Independence adopted?
  61. What is the basic belief of the Declaration of Independence?
  62. What is the national anthem of the United States?
  63. Who wrote the Star-Spangled Banner?
  64. Where does freedom of speech come from?
  65. What is a minimum voting age in the United States?
  66. Who signs bills into law?
  67. What is the highest court in the United States?
  68. Who was the President during the Civil War?
  69. What did the Emancipation Declaration do?
  70. What special group advises the President?
  71. Which President is called the "Father of our country"?
  72. What Immigration and Naturalization Service form is used to apply to become a naturalized citizen?
  73. Who helped the Pilgrims in America?
  74. What is the name of the ship that brought the Pilgrims to America?
  75. What are the 13 original states of the U.S. called?
  76. Name 3 rights of freedom guaranteed by the Bill of Rights.
  77. Who has the power to declare the war?
  78. What kind of government does the United States have?
  79. Which President freed the slaves?
  80. In what year was the Constitution written?
  81. What are the first 10 amendments to the Constitution called?
  82. Name one purpose of the United Nations?
  83. Where does Congress meet?
  84. Whose rights are guaranteed by the Constitution and the Bill of Rights?
  85. What is the introduction to the Constitution called?
  86. Name one benefit of being citizen of the United States.
  87. What is the most important right granted to U.S. citizens?
  88. What is the United States Capitol?
  89. What is the White House?
  90. Where is the White House located?
  91. What is the name of the President's official home?
  92. Name the right guaranteed by the first amendment.
  93. Who is the Commander in Chief of the U.S. military?
  94. Which President was the first Commander in Chief of the U.S. military?
  95. In what month do we vote for the President?
  96. In what month is the new President inaugurated?
  97. How many times may a Senator be re-elected?
  98. How many times may a Congressman be re-elected?
  99. What are the 2 major political parties in the U.S. today?
  100. How many states are there in the United States today?


=

The 100 Questions Asked by the Citizens of the United States to the Immigration and Naturalization Service Examiners
  1. What horrible things are we going to learn by photographing the metal detector?
  2. What is the difference between you and that security guard?
  3. What badge?
  4. How does one pronounce "better career choices"?
  5. Do you have to carry that gun there in front of everyone?
  6. Why do I get the feeling that I'm expected to appreciate it when you waste my time?
  7. How many middle fingers am I holding up?
  8. Has anyone other than you handled your testes in the last twenty-four hours?
  9. Where is Germany?
  10. Why can't the INS pass forth a few pens together with those useless forms in the plane?
  11. What exactly constitutes that "joke about guns"?
  12. Are you an eager member of the Fascist Party?
  13. Have you ever been a member of the Fascist Party?
  14. "Hi, what's the purpose of YOUR visit?"
  15. Has the 14th question above ever tripped anyone up?
  16. What color undies are you wearing then?
  17. Why does the INS internet site provide the answers to the 100 questions?
  18. Then how many Americans could answer the above 100 correctly?
  19. Could you?
  20. Could someone show me how I murder someone with these fingernail clippers?
  21. Would a real terrorist ever lose his identification?
  22. How crumpled should an actual receipt be so that it appears as old as it claims?
  23. Could someone show me how to create "suspicious" devices out of this shattered dictating machine?
  24. Why don't I trust those people that are sitting to watch the metal detector screen?
  25. Is it because they're runt teenager shitters?
  26. Dudes with long hair are suspicious. Is that the truth?
  27. The people with the jazz guitars are suspicious. Is this the truth?
  28. What harm could come with carrying Italian olive oil to the States?
  29. What about white wine?
  30. What if I have wet dirt with me?
  31. Or raw meat? (wetter)
  32. How about that rotten human head there?
  33. I refer to the metal detectors again. What's the second detector do that the first missed?
  34. The third one?
  35. Bonus: Then how about the fourth, fifth and tenth ones?
  36. Why does my belt cause the metal detector to beep?
  37. Because the belt is leather and has no clip?
  38. What goes on inside that cranium?
  39. Define the "common law" tenet.
  40. Describe the strange opening time of the consulate offices.
  41. Discuss the Green Card Lottery without using the words "third" and "world".
  42. What, when, where was the Irish Potato Famine?
  43. What's Ellis Island?
  44. Enter in the missing word: "The Statue of_____."
  45. Enter the purpose of the INS forms:
  46. Is it just to complicate things?
  47. Is it just to complicate things more?
  48. An effort to humiliate at whatever the cost?
  49. Who aided the Pilgrim settlers in America?
  50. Who then went and gave the Native Americans the pox on purpose?
  51. What is a Native American?
  52. What is the difference between Moeller and Miller?
  53. Steinn and Stone?
  54. Smith and Schmidt?
  55. Right and wrong?
  56. The ass and the elbow?
  57. Shit and "Shinola"?
  58. What are the Hallmarks of a Good Anagram?
  59. Do the drug smugglers ever shove the cocaine into their rear end or is that just on TV?
  60. What do the INS officers have fettered up their rear ends?
  61. "What the frig is going on with the returned film in this camera?"
  62. Who was Elian Gonzalez?
  63. Did I mention this name just to dish off these multiple "z" letters?
  64. Did I write that wittier sentence just to throw off another one?
  65. Who'd name their son "Elian"?
  66. Isn't that name better for ice water?
  67. Are we getting tired of this?
  68. What is the deal with these plastic guns?
  69. Did you get enough attention as a child?
  70. Did I get enough attention as a child?
  71. Describe the seemingly random choice of who gets their passport stamped, when and where.
  72. How can the innocent terms such as "sir" and "ma'am" sound condescending?
  73. How often do cocaine smugglers have three children?
  74. What is the purpose of these numbers here: 954332?
  75. Define "diverse".
  76. Define the "minimum wage" tenet.
  77. What if someone has a metal arm?
  78. What is the matter with the word "alien"?
  79. What, in fact, IS the Constitution?
  80. Who cares?
  81. How do the foreign doctors create tastier, better hamburgers?
  82. How can technical engineers drive the cabs with more success?
  83. What does the phrase "education-related efforts" indicate?
  84. Who was here in America first? When and where?
  85. Does that even matter?
  86. What is there outside the American state?
  87. Then....?
  88. How can so few fellow Americans own or need passports?
  89. What percent of the fatter Americans own one?
  90. What specific time frame can we infer with the sentence: "...the renewal then sent after one to nineteen months"?
  91. Doesn't it seem weird to solicit employees with the internet?
  92. When the INS handles the immigration, does the OUTS handle the emigration?
  93. Did you catch that fine inner reference?
  94. Wasn't it a funny sentence then?
  95. If not, why?
  96. When I'm tired from travel then which of these tenets do you refer to first?
  97. "Annoy the shite out of me?"
  98. "Give me that rotten survey?"
  99. "Drop dead somewhere?"
  100. When's it too late for us to move to freer, smarter Canada?

[3,832 letters]


This anagram won an Anagrammy in February 2002 (Special Category).


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