Long Anagram by Paul Pan

Dear Sir

I am Mrs. Francisca Savimbi (Widow) of late Mr. George Savimbi of blessed memory. My late husband was the blood brother of JONAS SAVIMBI leader of UNITA in our country ANGOLA. My husband who was until his death a businessman based in the purchase and marketing of GOLD & DIAMONDS, he was attacked, shot (and latter died) when he was coming back from a mining site to negotiate for the purchase of some of the products, by unknown gunmen.

I must confess to you, that he became a successful businessman following the outbreak of Civil war in my country in which his elder brother JONAS SAVIMBI is the principal actor being the leader of UNITA the main Warring factor opposing the government of Angola. His fortune came from this advantage as he profited and extended his trade of illegal Diamonds & Gold from the mining areas controlled by the brother JONAS who covered him.

Following his assassination as he struggled to die, he confided to me certain documents of deposits made with different Security firms in West Africa. He told me of the most important deposit made with a security firm in Ivory Coast in my name as the beneficiary. These very deposits were two (2) trunk boxes containing a cash sum of USD $13.8M. They were registered and deposited as containing family valuables for safekeeping in order not to attract any attention to the deposits. The money derived from the sales of the above-mentioned products "Gold & Diamonds".

After his death - with all these documents in my possession - I decided to move out of the country with my two children (PASCAL and HELEN) without the notions of any relative to Ivory Coast in West Africa where the said deposit was made.

My aim of coming to Ivory Coast is to ensure that I find someone who will help me and my children collect these deposits from the Security firm and further transfer the money in question into any private or corporate foreign Bank account for investment and relocation purposes. In this regards, I hereby solicit unconditional assistance to help me withdraw and transfer this money to your base and subsequently move out of this country.

We have it in mind to reward you handsomely for your humanitarian assistance. I also suggest that you guide and take control over the investments that we shall put forth as we strongly count on your initiatives.

I therefore plead you to treat this transaction seriously and confidential.

Let me read from you soon so that we can ascertain the next step to take. Also include in your return mail, your private fax and phone numbers so that I can contact you and send to you some deposit evidence issued to my late husband by the Security firm during the deposit of the said consignments.

You can as well reach me or my son through the above telephone number ext 241.

Feel very free to ask any question regarding any thing you wish to know from me.

Accept and extend our kind regards to your humble family while I look forward to receiving your prompt and positive response.

God bless you

Mrs. FRANCISCA SAVIMBI

 

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Fransisca:
Jonas Savimbi's sister-in-law? Yeah, and I'm a nudist Don Fido the Snowman busy fanning his viscid and vivid untanned Finnic doodads in the windy downtown Fiords! Gotta be an evil madwoman to expect us to fall for this mishmash! Take Jonas' false rhinestone diamonds, and gold and stick 'em where the sun don't shine! I assume poor sad old Jonas' ossified cadaverous innards must be rotating in his dug grave, atilt, and disavowing his infant twin brother George for being a horrid dodo fool and mingling with your sordid hellish kind.

I am being so rude 'cause I am pretty much miffed of what is behind your scheming mind. Beware of fat African divas that bear presents through the internet. Irritating and spamming widows may in fact be devilish assassins! Winning mission is to sniff, thrash, undo, extricate, and dismiss sordid internet assassins in an instant (sans lawman)! To set the record straight, I quote excerpts from http://www.fraud.org. This should henceforth help thwart potential victims:

"Beware of such scams. They used to be called "Nigerian letters" because they came by mail, but now these messages also come by phone, fax, or email.
Such promises are fraudulent. They manage to get money out of your account, not to put money into it.
Once lured, they'll never let go. You will be charged never-ending series of payments for bogus fees.

Be wary of offers to send you an "advance" on your "commission." Some smart con artists use this ploy to build trust and to get money from your Swiss bank overnight. They send you a cheque for part of your "commission," instructing you to deposit it and then wire payment to them for taxes, or some other phoney purpose. The Swiss financier tells you it has cleared because the normal time has passed to be notified that they have bounced. After you wire the money, your cheque finally voids as it turned out a forgery. Now the evil rascals do have your payment, and you owe your bank the amount that you withdrew.
Don't believe photographs of the "loot." One common ploy is to tape money around a piece of wood to make it look like a large amount of cash. Sometimes the demon rascals sprinkle powder on the money and claim that it's a toxic chemical used to protect it. Then they offer to provide a special chemical to remove the powder!
Do not provide your Swiss bank account or financial information. This information is used to withdraw money from your account.
Don't travel anywhere to meet these people. They avoid coming abroad for fear of arrest. When they lure victims to meet them in Africa or other countries, victims have often been robbed and even murdered.
Remember, these are hardened criminals. They use the money they make on this scam to finance other illegal activities such as drug dealing and credit card fraud.

If they get your money, you'll never get it back. It's difficult to bring these crooks abroad to trial, and action is rarely taken against them in their own countries. It's still helpful to report actual or attempted money offer scams to law enforcement agencies."

[2,444 letters]


Nominated in June 2002


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