Anagrammy Placegetters for November 2001
All the highly-placed anagrams from the November 2001 Anagrammy Awards.
[ Previous month ] [ Back to index ] [ Next month ]THE GENERAL CATEGORY
1st - Richard Grantham with:
A love-hate relationship =
The volatile pair has one.
2nd - Lardy Girl with:
Inmates on death row =
Morons await the end.
3rd - Jaybur with:
In silhouette =
Is the outline.
THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY
1st - Jaybur with:
Manet's 'Olympia' =
Simple anatomy!
eq.2nd - Larry Brash with:
The Far Side cartoonist Gary Larson ~
is a creator of grisly and honest art.
eq.2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
"Murder on the Orient Express" by Agatha Christie =
Hush! Poirot exercises the brain and 'grey matter'.
THE TOPICAL CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Search for Osama Bin Laden Proves Difficult =
A darn problem - US forces fail to find his cave!
2nd - Jaybur with:
Post early for Christmas =
I race for stamps, shortly!
3rd - David Bourke with:
The World Toilet Summit in Singapore =
Millions go there to dump in its water!
THE RUDE CATEGORY
1st - SpursKevin with:
Crotchless undies =
Discloses her cunt.
2nd - Tom Myers with:
Take off all your clothing =
A lot of really hot fucking.
eq.3rd - Maurice Goddard with:
Don't forget to pull the chain =
Drench that foul toilet pong!
eq.3rd - Richard Grantham with:
Shitload =
I had lots.
THE SPAM CATEGORY
1st - Larry Brash with:
UNIVERSITY DIPLOMAS
Obtain a prosperous future, money earning power, and the admiration
of all.
Select your field of study from business, computers, engineering, education, the sciences, liberal arts, fine arts, social sciences, history, literature, languages, or any other discipline.
No required tests, classes, books, or interviews.
All levels of diplomas awarded - including bachelors, masters, PhD's, and MBA's.
Save Thousands on Tuition Fees!!!
Open enrollment means that you are already accepted into this unique program.
CALL NOW to receive your diploma within days!!!
1-212-465-3248
Call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, including Sundays and holidays.
ALL CALLS KEPT CONFIDENTIAL.
=
Let's get this plan quite clear in my mind.
What you're supposedly saying is:
You'd give me completely fake qualifications, the holders of which
fraudulently use to seamlessly obtain valued, well-paid positions,
suspiciously false awards and it'd earn considerable income?
I'll order one for a brain surgeon.
There's a Mayo Clinic consultant neurosurgeon position vacant and I'd like to obtain it, even in the absence of a basic medical degree or the knowledge of functional and structural central nervous system anatomy, the diseases and syndromes, pills, doses, radical Swiss head operations, surgical procedures, instruments, or paraphernalia.
"Dr" Larry.
2nd - David Bourke with:
Dear reader,
We would like to ask you to participate in a study that is being conducted by the University of Amsterdam. The subject of this study is Internet communication. Note that your participation is fully anonymous. Please, if you have the time, feel free to go to www.cmc-research.org to fill out the questionnaire that has been set up. It will only take 2 minutes of your time. If you know any other people who might be willing to participate, please forward this message to them. Furthermore, if you have any questions, you can reply to this email address:
mbawolf@xs4all.nl
We would like to thank you very much in advance for your time and effort.
M.Wolf
University of Amsterdam (www.uva.nl)
The Netherlands
=
Dear... er... whatever,
Hey! We in Holland would like to ask you to... you to... er... to participate in a... well... study by the... er... University of Amsterdam. The... er... only subject of our study is the toxic effect of... of... um... blow... weed... reefer... I... I mean, cannabis, on clog-wearing tulipheads that sit around, quite utterly stoned out of their, er... poor tiny little brains, in 24-hour 'brown' canal cafes, continually smoking... um ... wait a moment, I'm quite tired... oh yeah, pot... eating sweet hash cakes (yummy) and posting off spam such as this. Like, er... I'm out of it, too! Totally heavy!
So if... um... if, er... interested, reply to: www.tiptoe-through-the-tulips.com.nl/
Peace, man! You have a nice day, OK!
M. Wolf,
Spliff Survey Team,
University of Amsterdam (www.uva.nl)
The Netherlands.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Question: Where do I get this New credit File from?
Answer: That's a secret and you will find out once you purchase
my kit. But what I can tell you is that my secret method is 100%
legal, 100% ethical, and best of all 100% GUARANTEED!
Question: How many people have have used your method and have
had success?
Answer: I have sent out over 3600 orders so far and have not had
anyone return this information because they were unable to open
a new credit file using my secret method.
Question: Are there any other fees involved after I purchase
your kit?
Answer: Your out of pocket expense will be around $20.00 more
to get your new credit file which is a processing charge and that
is it. And this is a one time fee.
Question: How long does it take for me to receive my information?
Answer: You will receive your information by U.S. Mail within
7 business days after you receive your order. We strive to mail
out all orders within 3 days, but sometimes, we get backlogged
with orders. We guarantee that you'll receive your order within
7 business days though!
=
Question: Why the fuck do these idiots try to convince me to
buy their turds when I obviously won't?
Answer: Curiously enough, they wouldn't care if you will never
send them money. They have enough resources to take care of their
future; Too bad - now they are purely concerned with the mutilation
of the web.
Question: Should I ignore them?
Answer: Why, you shouldn't! In fact, anagrams of these pathetic
letters are barrels of fun!
Question: Is it true the male spammers have microscopic genitals?
Answer: It is, my dear, you're very clever! Their sorry woodies
are of wee measurements - some are even without any signs of sexual
organs! To review a recent study, a web-idiot's dick length will
be roughly 0.0001207% of the average piece.
Question: I've decided to slay one. Could you guide me, please?
Answer: Sure! First, try and find their hideout, usually a basement
or a video arcade. Once captivated, behead them with a sword.
For anyone residing abroad I think a hitman is in order. I know
of at least two in Australia, so please ring me at 1-700-6003-0301.
THE LONG CATEGORY
eq.1st - David Bourke with:
GODDARD MEMORIAL TRAIL TO BE DEDICATED JUNE 6
The Maurice Goddard Memorial Trail will be dedicated at 10 a.m. June 6 at the Camp Hill Borough Hall in Cumberland County. The four-mile walking and biking trail in Camp Hill Borough is being named for Goddard, a resident of Camp Hill, who was the first secretary of the state's Department of Forests and Waters. Goddard died in 1995 in a fire at his home. Speakers will include Caren Glotfelty, who holds the Maurice Goddard Chair in Forestry and Conservation at Penn State University; William Forrey, past director of the Bureau of Forestry; and Ernest Morrison, an author who is writing a biography of Goddard.
The trail begins at the Conodogoinuit Creek in Seibert Park, passes through the Camp Hill Bypass tunnel and travels south to Fiala Park.
For more information, contact Tom Sexton, Rails-to-Trails Conservancy, at 717 238-1717.
=
THE 'GOLDEN MO' AWARD
The first 'Maurice Goddard Award For Highly Mediocre Poetic Anagramming' shall be presented about June 19th. The winner receives a fabulous expenses-almost-paid, totally-action-filled trip to Molde to, in fact, meet, also touch, the good man too! Sort of. Perhaps. Perhaps not.
A choice 21 candidates for champion are:
Wayne 'Doofus' Baisley
David Bourke
Janet Burholt
Larry Brash
Don/Dan Fortier
Linda Garrett
Richard Grantham
David A. Green
Ernesto Guiraldes
Adrian Hickford
Mey Kraus
Lardy Girl
Tom Myers
Walter Newboldt
Martin Rand
Len Richards
Rick Rothstein
Spurs Kevin
Mick 'Irish' Tully
Sir William Tunstall-Pedoe
For a hint about how to tie... er... win it, catch me at 01695-778177 or toss off an e-mail to mgoddard@frisurf.no, stating in it if a boy or a girl, height, chest/bust profile, inside leg, etc.
I shall find a winner, to be announced Dec 31st.
Got that, dear?
Mo
eq.1st - Jaybur with:
An
excerpt from a book on the Impressionists.
3rd - Allan Morley with:
No man
is an island
THE PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Charles Lutwidge Dodgson =
Select odd words, laughing.
2nd - Larry Brash with:
Taliban's leader Mullah Omar =
Burial alarm. Send me to Allah!
3rd - Jaybur with:
The Honorable Donald Rumsfeld =
So, he'll hunt for bearded old man!
THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Seven Eleven Incorporated =
Open it and never ever close!
2nd - David Bourke with:
The Dictaphone =
Hi-tech notepad.
3rd - Richard Grantham with:
Fisher-Price Toys =
Eyes rich profits.
THE SPECIAL CATEGORY
1st - Richard Grantham with:
Two anagrams of Shakespeare's 128th sonnet,
adapting it to suit the musical instruments played by my own sweetheart.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Everlast:
What It's Like
3rd - David Bourke with:
Affirmation
by Savage Garden
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