Anagrammy Winners by Jaybur

All the winning anagrams by Jaybur from the Anagrammy Awards.

GENERAL CATEGORY, February 2000:
1st - Jaybur with:
Male chauvinism =
I'm such a vile man.

 

TOPICAL CATEGORY, April 2000:
1st - Jaybur with:
Saint George's Day =
Yes! as I get dragon!

 

RUDE CATEGORY, June 2000:
1st - Jaybur with:
A braless bosom =
A lass bobs more.

 

AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE CATEGORY, August 2000:
2nd - Jaybur with:
Sir Alec Guinness dies at eighty-six =
I sigh: sadly, it's exit a screen genius.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, September 2000:
1st - Jaybur with:
Circumstantial evidence =
Can ruin detective's claim.

 

PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, October 2000:
1st - Jaybur with:
Sir Peter Paul Rubens =
Superb painter rules.

 

OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, October 2000:
1st - Jaybur with:
Fire of London =
Inferno of old.

 

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, December 2000:
1st - Jaybur with:
One hundred and two Dalmatians =
Unhand dear, dotted animals - NOW!

 

PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, December 2000:
1st - Jaybur with:
Miss Venus Williams =
I'll win massive sums!

 

PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, January 2001:
1st - Jaybur with:
General George Smith Patton =
Germans gotta go! I repel then!

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, March 2001:
1st - Jaybur with:
The misandrist =
It's men I'd trash.

 

PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, March 2001:
1st - Jaybur with:
Wilfred Edward Salter Owen =
War saddened writer fellow.

 

PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, April 2001:
1st - Jaybur with:
M. Etienne de Silhouette =
The esteemed in outline.

 

OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, April 2001:
1st - Jaybur with:
The Israeli Airline =
El Al: I rise in the air!

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, May 2001:
3rd - Jaybur with:
Aspirin tablets =
It's pain blaster!

 

TOPICAL CATEGORY, May 2001:
1st - Jaybur with:
Mid East violence =
Malice so evident.

 

AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE CATEGORY, June 2001:
2nd - Jaybur with:
The Wimbledon Tennis Championship =
Henman's time: he'd lob, chip, spin to win.

 

PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, June 2001:
1st - Jaybur with:
The Norwegian artist Edvard Munch =
Driven toward The (haunting) Scream.

 

OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, July 2001:
1st - Jaybur with:
Ego Boost Bra =
O, great boobs!

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, August 2001:
eq.2nd - Jaybur with:
The dental surgeon =
Nursed teeth along.

 

TOPICAL CATEGORY, August 2001:
eq.1st - Jaybur with:
The Code Red computer virus =
Drive seemed touch corrupt.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, September 2001:
2nd - Jaybur with:
Oh, I pray that each find ~
faith, hope and charity.

 

AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE CATEGORY, October 2001:
2nd - Jaybur with:
The Italian artist Amedeo Modigliani =
Admiration at the detail in oil images.

 

OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, October 2001:
1st - Jaybur with:
The Nightingale School and Home for Nurses =
Teaching and lessons here might honour Flo.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, November 2001:
3rd - Jaybur with:
In silhouette =
Is the outline.

 

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, November 2001:
1st - Jaybur with:
Manet's 'Olympia' =
Simple anatomy!

 

LONG CATEGORY, November 2001:
eq.1st - Jaybur with:
An excerpt from a book on the Impressionists.

 

OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, December 2001:
1st - Jaybur with:
The Subaru Legacy =
Let's buy a HUGE car!

 

SPECIAL CATEGORY, January 2002:
1st - Jaybur with:
MACAVITY: THE MYSTERY CAT by T.S. Eliot

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, February 2002:
3rd - Jaybur with:
Universal agreement =
Relieves an argument.

 

PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, February 2002:
1st - Jaybur with:
Saddam Hussein =
UN's said he's mad.

 

LONG CATEGORY, March 2002:
eq.1st - Jaybur with:
HOW TO CONVERSE: A short lesson

 

AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE CATEGORY, April 2002:
2nd - Jaybur with:
A. Aspertini =
Is a painter!

 

RUDE CATEGORY, May 2002:
1st - Jaybur with:
'Nevermore' painted by Paul Gauguin =
Giving one nude beauty a plump rear!

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, June 2002:
1st - Jaybur with:
Lose weight fast! =
How I get less fat!

 

OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, June 2002:
1st - Jaybur with:
Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons =
Face is long, nose is a catastrophe: so it is cut!

 

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, August 2002:
1st - Jaybur with:
The singer Ray Charles =
He arranges the lyrics.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, November 2002:
1st - Jaybur with:
The womaniser =
It's how men are...

 

LONG CATEGORY, December 2002:
1st - Jaybur with:
Luke 2:10-14

 

AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE CATEGORY, January 2003:
2nd - Jaybur with:
Anti-War Movement =
Never want to maim.

 

TOPICAL CATEGORY, February 2003:
1st - Jaybur with:
The Stop the War alliance =
Let this weapon-race halt.

 

OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, March 2003:
eq.1st - Zoran Radisavlevic and Jaybur (simultaneously) with:
Basra =
Arabs.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, April 2003:
3rd - Jaybur with:
Woman-hater =
Mean, or what?

 

OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, April 2003:
1st - Jaybur with:
The Two Thousand and Three Lingerie Awards =
Those who design and retail that underwear.

 

LONG CATEGORY, May 2003:
1st - Jaybur with:
The TRUE Story of The Three Little Pigs (As told by the Wolf)

Today a Wolf took the stand in his own defense. This shocked the media who predicted he would not testify in the brutal double murder trial. The wolf is accused of killing (and eating) The First Little Pig and The Second Little Pig. This criminal trial is expected to be followed by a civil trial to be brought by the surviving Third Little Pig. The case has been characterized as a media circus.

His testimony is transcribed below:

"Everybody knows the story of the Three Little Pigs. Or at least they think they do. But I'll let you in on a little secret. Nobody knows the real story, because nobody has ever heard my side of the story. I'm Alexander T. Wolf. You can call me Al. I don't know how this whole Big Bad Wolf thing got started, but it's all wrong. Maybe it's because of our diet. Hey, it's not my fault wolves eat cute little animals like bunnies and sheep and pigs. That's just the way we are. If cheeseburgers were cute, folks would probably think you were Big and Bad too. But like I was saying, the whole big bad wolf thing is all wrong. The real story is about a sneeze and a cup of sugar.

THIS IS THE REAL STORY.

=

One day, I was baking this nice big blueberry pie to give to a friend, Al Fresco. I had a ghastly, snitchy cold. There was no sugar left. So I walked down the street to the neighbors to try and borrow some.

The first neighbor's house was skillfully made of straw! Can you believe it? When I knocked the door, it fell in. My nose started to itch, and I sneezed a mighty sneeze. Oh boy! The house blew down into a pile of hay. In the centre of this was a little porker. Dead. Sorry? Sure. But hell, face it, nobody would miss out on a good dinner. I ate him.

The next house was built of sticks. But then, ATISHOO! It came down just like the first. So there it was, Second Little Pig, dead. Sadly. But what is a feller to do but eat?

Then I got to the brick place. But that silly Little Pig yelled 'Stay away!' I thought I'd better leave and turn back. But then the little devil yells out 'Go away! Get lost, hillbilly!' Well! I got cross. I went ballistic. The cop cars drove up as I was trying to break down the door.

The rest is history.

The cynical press believed my 'sugar' story was unexciting, and they wrote all that 'huff and puff' rubbish. THEY labelled ME, mister reliable, Big Bad Wolf. Get the picture?

I WAS FRAMED."

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, June 2003:
eq.3rd - Jaybur with:
The scenes-of-crime officer =
Meet force's forensic chief.

 

OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, June 2003:
1st - Jaybur with:
The New Olympus Digital Cameras =
Capture the way a model's smiling.

 

PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, July 2003:
1st - Jaybur with:
William Shakespeare, the Bard of Avon =
Methinks I love a word, a phrase, a fable!

 

MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, July 2003:
1st - Jaybur with: [A British Telecom advertisement]
Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near?
I'm a falconer.
If only everything was as simple as BT's pricing options.
=
Why is a toucan similar to a phone-user?
Its bill is very large.
Modern company's prospering every day, and debt's fine, if *we* pay.

 

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, October 2003:
1st - Jaybur with:
Italian Antonio Stradivari =
A violin is an art, a tradition.

 

PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, December 2003:
1st - Jaybur with:
Charles A. Lindbergh =
Bird has challenger?

 

MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, December 2003:
1st - Jaybur with:
"I believe marriage is between a man and a woman, and I think we ought to codify that one way or another" (George W. Bush) =
I think we need a new law to be encouraging to true mahogany, er, matrimony... and have a good wife to share babies with.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, January 2004:
2nd - Jaybur with:
Legal separations =
Agree on split, alas.

 

PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, January 2004:
1st - Jaybur with:
Nurse Florence Nightingale, Lady with the Lamp =
Helping men who fell: it's rather an angelic duty.

 

AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE CATEGORY, March 2004:
Jaybur with:
The old movies =
I loved them so!

 

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, July 2004:
1st - Jaybur with:
The new SPIDERMAN movie =
Made with even MORE spin!

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, September 2004:
3rd - Jaybur with:
Anonymous message =
No name, so may guess.

 

PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, September 2004:
1st - Jaybur with:
Nurse Florence Nightingale, the Lady with a Lamp =
This Crimea War angel, on duty helping the fallen.

 

LONG CATEGORY, September 2004:
1st - Jaybur with:
'A Story Wet As Tears' by Marge Piercy

 

LONG CATEGORY, October 2004:
1st - Jaybur with:
A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer and a sandwich.

The bartender says, "But you're a duck."

"Yep, that is very true," says the duck.

"And you talk, too!" exclaims the bartender.

"Indeed I do," says the duck, "I'd like a large beer, and one of your finest sandwiches."

"Certainly," says the bartender, "it's just we don't get to see too many ducks in this pub. What are you doing around these parts?"

"I'm working for a builder in this area," replies the duck.

So then the duck has his beer and sandwich, pays up and leaves.

One day, the ringleader of a circus comes into the pub, and the bartender tells him about his clever friend, the talking duck.

"Marvelous!" says the ringleader, "ask him to come over and see me."

The next day, the duck comes into the pub. The bartender says, "Hey, Mr Duck, you're in luck. I lined you up with a top job paying really good money!"

"Yeah?" says the duck, "where?"

"At the circus," says the bartender.

"The circus?"

"That's right," replies the bartender.

"That place with all those animals? With the great big tent?"

"Yes, that's right," says the bartender.

The duck looks confused.

"So what do they want with a plasterer?"

=

This duck walks into a crowded city pub and asks the bartender, "Do you have any grapes?" The bartender says "No, sir." The duck says, "Cheers!" and leaves.

The next day the duck is back in the pub. He says, "I'm curious. Are you certain you don't have any fruit left? Such as juicy little grapes, by any chance?" The bartender says no, and the duck goes away.

Two days later, the duck's back. He walks up to the bar, and sees the bartender. "Hello, I'm here again, bartender! Might you have some nice fresh grapes to cheer me up this evening?"

This irritates the bartender, Harry, who's extremely tired and wound up, and he loses his composure at this juncture. He starts to twitch: he's boiling mad. He screams at the duck, "Listen to me, you wretched, scrawny little bird! You heard me! I told you no, I didn't, and if you keep asking me, I will nail both your thick, webbed feet to the floor, OK?"

The duck seems a little startled at his reaction and hurries away.

Despite this, the duck returns a day later. He walks up to the bar and asks the bartender, "Got any nails?"

The bartender replied, "No," and the duck said, "Good! Got any grapes?"

 

LONG CATEGORY, December 2004:
1st - Jaybur with:
The Christmas Story from Luke, Chapter Two

 

Table of All-Time Winners


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